Broken mirror

I don't see what you see
When I look in the mirror at me
I used to be heavy, now I'm so light,
I only did it losing that fight
Yes I'm winning the war, but lose battles I do
To say that I don't just wouldn't be true
So I see disease, certainly no cutie,
Somehow, you see a woman with some type of beauty
I pretend I'm ok, so that no one will know,
That deep inside I'm crying and won't let it show
I'm so tired of the pain, how much can I take?
A boss lady, yes, but even bosses break
Nobody can help me, nobody really knows
That the struggle is real, and daily it grows
There's no magical cure, at least not a good one
What keeps me going are my daughters and sons
I'm making my family go through the pain
They can only watch while it drives me insane
It has to have a purpose, surely there must be,
I've tried but I can't figure out why me?!
I didn't deserve this, hell, no one does
I feel like a shell of who I once was
So I appreciate you saying how I look so good,
But know, I'd go back to being fat and happy if I could
At least I have him, he's never left my side
He doesn't hold my hair back, but he doesn't run and hide
He loved me big, and he loves me small
He just loves who I am, point blank, that's all
THEY keep me going, THEY keep me strong
So I'LL see what I see, but still play along