Hi @joseph. After reading you poem I am inclined to ask if this piece doesn't fall under the overall troupe of what one would refer to as superb.

It is all well and good to express oneself using poetry. It is mind-boggling that you could find a fresh approach to a theme that has been written on so many times.

It is to the benefit of, and in the interest of the writer and for art in general that such a fresh approach is made. For example:

"I am helpless
in my love for you"

Is something I have read so many times but that you have brought a fresh approach to this is an effort I must applaud.

The story of the love struck individual is easily turned into a cliche. You have resisted falling into this trap. To that I say well done.

The depth and bredth and overall profundity of this writing cannot be praised enough. Well done. It was a pleasure reading your piece.

And I agree, it was not long enough.