Flying Turkeys (Original Poem and Photo)
image by @moeknows
"When the wind blows, even turkeys are flying!"
-Quote from Croatia, taught to me by @kriptonoob
Flying Turkeys
They talk
Squawking like a bunch of hawks
Obnoxious cocks
With rocks for brains
These strange birds
That aim
To rule the roost
And boost
The shit
From the back of the caboose
Bunch of jive turks
Standing in the middle of
circle jerk square
Skeeted on by a pair
Of fools without a pair
Staring at the glare
Of their wallets
They call it skill
Flapping their jaws
like wings
To make it seem
Like they're flyin
Trying to convince the wise
They ain't lying
But we ain't buyin
The bull shit
So bear in mind
When you climb
up on your pulpit
That divine winds die
And kamikaze skies
Won't disguise
The lies you've been telling
So keep selling
That shit to your sheep
But sleep lightly
Cuz there's true hawks
In the air
And the winds...
are changing
What's up Steemians? This is the first spoken word piece I've written in a while. It's where my passion lies, but I often lack the proper inspiration for long periods of time. Then, for whatever reason, something clicks during a mundane interaction or event. This piece was inspired by reading an article here on steemit giving crypto advice. My poem isn't so much about that article, but the quote referenced therein inspired me to write about some things I see going on here. The photo was taken by me at a friend's farm. The turkey pictured is an asshole. Kind of reminds me of some people here on Steemit. Anyway, thanks for reading. Please let me know your thoughts below.
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Great quote. And didn't even click on the article you referred to, to know who and what you're talking about. Followed!
Thank you. Yeah, I was hoping to make it obvious but not obvious.
"As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." - Mr. Carlson
This is wonderful! I hear the rhythm pound out very clearly, but this image was really good:
Flapping their jaws
like wings
Thank you @geke. Sorry it took so long to reply. I've been a bit busy. I'm glad you got that image. I laughed when I wrote it.
My highest praise is that while reading I thought, "Damn, this would make some pretty good spoken word/light rap," and indeed, it's intended as such.
The last line break the flow, but I do feel it is actually good, because these things often end almost wistfully, not with the staccato that carries them up to that point.
The double "pair" I feel works better if you give it more of a rap spin than a spoken word vibe, but yes, this is a strong piece. I don't have much more to say about it here.
The only thing I'd consider is to try and fit in "Squatting" and perhaps another "Squawking," to lean on that part of the sound.
Thank you, Guy. I appreciate the thought. I chose to end it on a more serious note. Throughout the piece I wanted it to be kind of comically critical, but I wanted the ending to be straight faced.
I'll take your other into consideration as well.
Wow
I love this
You're an atheist too?
Thanks. I'm glad you liked this. I'm actually not an atheist. I'm cool with them though.
From the moment I read this, I knew it was meant to be a spoken-word piece. The musicality of the rhyme is apparent, though, I'd consider cutting it down a bit or seeing if you can't use more subtly in the end rhymes.
Thank you for reading and commenting. Yeah, I know it gets a little muddy on the ending pieces, but it kind of works when I speak it. Again thanks for commenting.
Great job. I've only written a handful of poems because mine have to come from feeling. I envy anyone that can come up with one like this. :D
Yeah, I would say that almost all my poems stem from feelings I have. I actually have a hard time writing in general, but this was one in which the words flowed pretty well once they were started. Thanks for your comment.
He does look like an evil turkey. Fun poem - glad assholes inspire still lol.
Ha ha! He was. He would attack us until we had to turn on him. Then he would back away.
If I had a pair I would have loved to put it like this myself!
Well, thank you. I feel like any other answer I give could end up in an unfortunate innuendo.
titter smiley
DAMN, Moe! This is hard as nails, I love it and I love reading it out loud in sing-song style.
Thanks @mamadini. I like to spit a little venom from time to time. Thank you for taking the time to read and comment.
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