A Glance (Original Poetry)
Image Credit: Pixabay
A Glance
Our eyes meet
and we are
Instantly imprisoned
in eternity
As subtle smiles
Give way to
Tentative conversation,
We exchange more than a glance
With the touch of a hand, we make plans
For dinner
To be followed by dancing
And more dancing
As the sounds of each other's laughter
Resonate in our hearts
We no longer have a need for music
We pluck heartstrings so masterfully
That bodies cannot resist the urge to
Gyrate
Our fluid movements send me to one knee
Where I find your accepting hand
Standing up to carry you thru the threshold,
Your white dress under my rented shoes
We fall down laughing, musically
That sweet sound still serenading our souls
As we watch our children graduate
Soon we find ourselves
Witnessing their first encounter with that
wonderful song
That has been playing in our ears
We, explain nursery rhymes to grandchildren on vacation
Our hearts still dancing to laughter's canticle
Even though the body is no longer that mobile
Laying at the end of the day in our bed
Gazing into each other's eyes
We know now that the music will never stop,
Our eyes close
The second hand shifts
We look away
As we continue down our opposing paths
We are hearing an inaudible song
Desperately fading with each detaching step.
Have you ever stopped to ponder how seconds could have affected eternity? Please leave your thoughts below.
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This was really good. I know it sounds like something bad to say of poetry, but sometimes it's not the words themselves, but the idea, that rings so true. You did it here.
I have a quibble with a line or two, and that "Thru" should really be "Through", but this is really quite good.
Not because it touches the divine, quite the opposite. Because it captures the essence of the dream, the hope, the life we all live.
I don't think it's bad to say. I think the purpose of poetry isn't necessarily to come up with different words with which to describe an idea, but find new ways of communicating an idea in general. This can be done in many ways to include word choice, comparisons, stories, riddles and visual aides. That's why I like poetry so much, because when it all comes down to it, I like communicating. Thanks for your comment.
This poem is deep.
The last section got me... are they fading apart? or have they passed on?
The idea in my head was that they were two people meant to be together, but passing each other in a street. Their eyes meet in a glance, and that's where most of the poem takes place. After a moment (a second) they continue on their way each vaguely aware of an imperceptible loss of what could/should have been. Thanks for reading and commenting.
oh man, great work.
Really enjoyed it.
Thank you, I'm glad you liked it.
Oh wow, moe. This may be my favorite poem yet on Steemit. I love this concept and your delivery is so beautiful.
Laughter in love is so underrated. This line was just perfection. Bravo!
Thank you so much! I appreciate it.
This post has received a 28.17 % upvote from @kittybot thanks to: @moeknows.
Hey! Thank you. I love it! You seem interesting, you got my follow. Please consider following me for art, poetry and other awesomeness!
Thank you. I have followed you as well.
This post has received a 1.7 % upvote from @boomerang thanks to: @moeknows
We walk on a pair of parallel line
You are always in my mind
Yet we will never cross path once
We are walking in a parallel line
Thank you for your comment. We may also be on the same path going in the same direction, yet too far to see each other.
great imagery and in depth detail even though this all happens very fast.
Thank you. I was trying to make it like a montage which takes place in a fraction of a second. Thank you for stopping by.
@moeknows,
Nice post. I like your poetic skills.
I tried for the first time recently:
https://steemit.com/poetry/@jaichai/ijch-seriously-poetry-alright-i-ll-bite-here-s-my-first-poem-ever
Upvoted, following, and calling on the @originalworks and @steem-untalented upvotes for your post.
Namaste (I recognize the divine in you),
JaiChai
The @OriginalWorks bot has determined this post by @moeknows to be original material and upvoted it!
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Thank you. I will check it out.
Thank you so much
You are interesting