milk and honey

you make me what i thought
i'd never become
2 a.m. and you climb my body
starving
can you smell my fear
or is the dripping alcohol
strong enough
to cover my scent

you push into my body
shoveling what love means
and depositing it
all over sheets
it puddles under me like poison

you leave me
suffocating
there, left filled
with your trash

i blackout
from your intoxication

knowing sobriety
is that pain
of remembering you
breaking me

i hear your stumbling
diminish
and the final thud
as walls finally
let go

i will find you
in the morning
swimming in vomit
gurgling for air

i pretend
you're finally dead
but i know
from experience

this is how you sleep
and i know you'll wake
two faced: one side
the man from yesteryear

the other side coated
with last night