I do hope you manage to find your shining light! Keep in mind, people do care, they just might not know how to show it. If you continue to live your life, through all of its ups and downs, you will realise that life sort of straightens itself up in its own way, you just have to let it happen and keep positive.
Thank you for reading and for your kind words, thankfully this was quite a few years back, so those thoughts are not at the front of my brain any longer, though I must admit I do get depressed even now every once in a while. Once you have depression, it is very difficult to get rid of, or at least bury, those terrible self hatred thoughts. One does get better every day though!