a dream
and remembered those good days,
but then when i woke, once more
i had found myself at war
with the depths of my desire.
i do hate being a liar,
but to cast the comfort home,
make myself desperate to roam
these blue streets at night and cry
would shed tears of blood from eyes
which have seen and felt so much.
i would do it all to touch
your heart which i hope you keep
for a love, a love so deep;
that which only i can offer.
how i wish i would not suffer.
Beautiful poem @lukakorba :) upvoted and resteemed !
Thank you! :)
Upvoted @lukakorba, good poem, but sort of dark. Still I liked it. ♥
Many of my poems have that tint of darkness to them. They just reflect my mental state most of the time. Thank you!
I get that @lukakorba, I too have that undercurrent of darkness, negativity, depression and resentment underlying my every thought. It leaks out, unless I am directly writing about it
Specifically.
Good Morning.
That’s exactly it! I’m glad someone understands. Thank you! Good morning to you too!
5:20 am in Atlanta Ga, 15°... Wind chill 9°...
Yes, I have had a diagnosis of Clinical Depression for about 12 yrs, taking one
Antidepressant or another most of the time since then...until last Summer.
The largest manifestation of my depression is my lack of control of my anger.
I am very irritable; I have almost no tolerance for stupid people doing/saying
Stupid things (I pity the support people who are unlucky enough to be on the other end of the phone on a tech support call)...
Having had to stop taking the AD meds a couple of times, I knew that I was
Able to live without them, without becoming suicidal again, and I also knew
That they cause, directly cause weight gain.
I was up to 216 lbs, with increasing pain in my back, legs and feet, and difficulty climbing the stairs to my apartment.
I had a choice to make. I chose to lose the weight.
I dropped 14 lbs within a month of stopping the AD's.
So yes, I understand, I battle with it (that dark undercurrent) all the time.
I credit recognizing my depression for what it was, seeking out treatment,
Getting on the meds and all that, with my ability to GET and STAY sober.
I've been clean of illegal drugs since 2006, dry of alcohol since 2008.
Without the AD meds, I would have relapsed. I know that.
Well, sorry to run on like that.
You have a great day @lukakorba.