Attempting new kinds of poetry.
Image by Zdzislaw Beksinski
I wanted to write something today, i hope you enjoy it. Maybe not as smooth or as polished as i would like, but i hope one day to be able to write more fluidly, this is a new kind of poetry for me and I'm trying to explore different atmospheres and feeling. Please comment telling me what you think! Good or bad i would love to know your opinions, thank you!
An unfortunate evening
One fateful night, as i walked on alone,
Through the cold empty streets,
And warm blooded wood,
I came upon a dark sight, chilled to the bone.
With villagers gone, and glenn therefor empty;
I thought it a perfect occasion,
To quietly reflect,
But stumbled upon a group of some-twenty.
With masks so abhorrent, made of mystery leather;
They danced and they houled, round' a great fire,
Like so many beasts,
Their syllabus agreed, they sang it together.
Naked, with purpose, they brought forth their oblation
He writhed and he fought,
And was cut down the middle,
They feasted, so greedily, to their own damnation.
I held in my retching, not making a sound,
On the verge of departure,
I stole one last glance,
And was terrified at the scene, as i turned around,
A great black monstrosity, stood in the center,
Twisted black shapes,
Oozing dark flesh,
Into my eyes, stared their daemonic mentor,
They again began to dance, with renewed, mad vigor
I was frozen in fear,
It swiftly moved forward,
And brought me to my to my fate, despite my cold rigor.
I love it!
Thanks so much man, i appreciate the love hahaha I have never put my own content out there before, this is a first for me and its very cool to hear some people actually like it. : P
Brilliantly written, you've a great natural rhythm. The scene was set well, the imagery is spectacular, Your word choices are really great at building atmosphere.
My one suggestion would be to save italics for effect, it is harder to follow. I shouldn't judge as my handwritten stuff can be damn near impossible to read, given the option, a regular font is preferable.
All in all though, great poem, thanks for sharing.
Seriously thank you so much, i really appreciate the well written response. Your totally right about the italics, they should be used to help create atmosphere or drive a particular word even harder. This is my first time writing and posting anything online so its all a learning experience. Thanks again for the advice and checking out my work haha.
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