Red Suns
By rain
Calmed by thunder
Hushed by wind
Stilled by wonder—
You, by the mirror,
Painting your lips
Lightning outside
And I, transfixed,
Not by the storm
But the glow of your lips
No need to ask why…
You are the cause
Of these red suns
In my eyes
@johnjgeddes great work as usual man. I'm trying to build up my poetry craft. What guides you to 'show' as opposed to 'tell' when writing poems?
good question - probably my fiction experience -somehow there's always a strong narrative element
Beautiful and heady...
"And I, transfixed,
Not by the storm
But the glow of your lips.."
Speaks volumes. Love this piece :)
thanks, Tina :)
I seriously read it.. reread it and then read it one last time, loving it a little more each time. Swoon 😍
thank you, cristina - that's why I write :)
This one dealt with nsture and all its metaphorical fuctions, its so beautiful. The way they convey meanings
thank you, Jose - appreciate it
I can't get over from Claire and maybe Elle.
yes, Sirens play havoc with out emotions :)
I liked the way you painted the scene here revealing bits and pieces as you went along.
thanks, @moeknows
"You, by the mirror,
Painting your lips
Lightning outside
And I, transfixed,
Not by the storm
But the glow of your lips
No need to ask why…"
Simply beautiful, I especially like these phrases here. <3 A great poet you are @johnjgeddes. :) I loved it! ^^
thank you, @littlerph
You're most welcome! ^^
The romantic in me is transfixed by these tender words.
thanks, lydon :)
This post has received a 9.55 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @johnjgeddes.
i liked this post because it s a great poetry
thanks