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RE: 30 Day Haiku Challenge Day 7 - I can fly ✈

in #poetry7 years ago

Interesting poem, and thank you for sharing @wandergirl. I appreciate reading it. Haikus are a ton of fun, and I'm glad to see you're in a challenge to do it for 30 days! Good luck! You'll get better each day :)

I associated the "butterflies in stomach" with fear. Then the immediately next line was, "please, don't want to land." I was confused by this.

It was this confusion that made me read it a few more times. Perhaps this ambiguity is what makes the poem so compelling.

Does the speaker want to be able to fly herself? Does she enjoy flying, and have butterflies in her stomach because she's so excited? Perhaps that is why she was so excited in the first line to take off, "take off to reach sky."

Dropping the "the" between "reach" and "sky" seemed off. Perhaps you could reword it to something like 'reach the sky take off" or some other way of saying it.

Fun poem! I look forward to more :)

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