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RE: 30 Day Haiku Challenge Day 6 - Buffet 🐽

in #poetry7 years ago

well said with the last line, "health such disaster." Haha. Reminded me of a reddit meme with the Doge speak "such disaster."

Thank you for writing this poem. I really enjoyed it especially with the included picture. Did you write it for the picture or find a picture to match?

I enjoy the alliteration that flows through this poem; the matching same letters. "Savor, satisfy, taste, such, disaster" all highlight the "s" sound. Though to be fair, alliteration is the first letter, assonance is the term for the internal word sound. Either way, they're awesome. Great word choice.

I also like the assonance for "savor, devour, hunger, such," emphasizing the "or/our/u" sounds. It was awesome. Great stuff!

I'm really enjoying your haikus!

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Thanks @jocelynlily for appreciating my haikus. You inspire me to do more and to improve in writing. Honestly, I'm really not familiar with the jargons in poetry. At least with you mentioning those terms, I have something to start with.

When I was writing this haiku, I was hungry and remembered the festive food we ate few days ago. So I wrote about it and included the picture of what we ate.

I'm so happy. Please continue.

To further your poetry jargon education:

Most haiku's follow a general structure that stems from the japanese original. THe first line typically is about something in nature, or in this case, your food. The second line elaborates, and the final exhibits some sort of juxtaposition, or direct contrast that may be subtle, or a commentary on the difference of that initial image or natural phenomenon and the speaker's relation to it.

In your poem, you juxtapose the excellent feast with "health such disaster." Your contradiction in the beautiful bountify food feast while delicious may not be healthy. It is done very well.

Thanks for sharing. You had a good mental image when writing, and the one you chose fit the poem very well!

Thanks for this! I didn't know there is also a content pattern that is to be be followed in haikus. It's a good thing I did it right. Next time I'll be making haikus, I will put into mind your tips.

Thank you so much!!😉

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