TIMELESS BLISS

in poetry •  2 years ago  (edited)

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"TIMELESS BLISS"

In timeless bliss you set me high,
as I drown in the gaze of your eyes.
Upon the wings of love I fly,
like the Phoenix from his ashes that rise.

In timeless bliss my hearts on fire,
as the touch of your lips set me aflame.
With every raging wave of desire,
washes over my soul as I call out your name.

In timeless bliss your love doth linger,
eons of time cannot undo.
And even when death will touch his finger,
with my last breath I'll remember you!

jayparagat.png

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Kata-kata puitis yang penuh inspirasi terhadap pasangan.

I didn't understand your language but thank you for noticing my post @arifikob..

A really passionate and powerful write, Jay:)

Thank you for appreciating maam @prydefoltz..

My pleasure, Jay. Feel free to drop by my blog. I have some new poetry up:)

Yeah i'm reading on it, i saw that your really fond of making ones..

I am. Thank you, Jay:)

@prydefoltz,

Really? So when he does it, it's OK?

@jayparagat ... never-mind the above comment - she and I have history. :-)

Respecting, your poem, lovely sentiment. One small critique ... in the first 4 lines, you use the same tail-rhyme. A wee bit over-powering. In the rest of your poem, you alternate tail-rhymes between lines, which is much more pleasurable. Tension, release. Tension, release. Overall, great job.

BTW: Pretty bride.

This post has received a 0.24 % upvote from @drotto thanks to: @banjo.