Condom – An Original Poem
As my wrapper ripped
Me into this
Candlelit world.
Gone in an instant,
But I filled out
And rolled tall.
Again and again,
Screaming
“I can't swim!”
Navigating my way
Into middle age.
Million new souls
To bend and break,
But traditions are sacred;
To much was at stake.
Tied in a knot
Discarded in the bin;
Everyone forgot.
I think there are a lot of good and great poems that manage to do what they want to do. I'm not sure on this one. Small glimmer of improving imagery. Rhythm coming on very well though. Worthy of up-votes, but $'s?? Mmmm...maybe! 5/10.
Thank you for your honest review, it means a lot.
The path of the improving poet never truly ends...tune in later today for my latest poem post :) All the best @mindhunter