TO FIND MYSELF.

Image Credit:https://www.facebook.com/sarcasmLOL/

From birth,
My ears have learnt the ultrasound of pain
My eyes understood the markings of shame
My tongue longs for the taste of regret
As my feet push me down the path of "had-I-known".
My existence existed before I was born
And now, I can't make sense in this sentence of Life; it's tense for me,
Living everyday like it's the leftover of yesterday.

Parents weren't there to cuddle me so apparently I had to avoid this puddle dragging me down the aisle of filthy glory.
It wasn't easy, I tell you.
It wasn't easing when I was always dis-eased by the reality of my place on the food chain
That even if prey outnumber predator 10-to-1,
I would still pray to never join my friends to revolt against our one common predator, Death!
Because no matter the number of rehearsals
No matter the number of pre-dates we have, I would never be ready for this tour
To explore my lover's deathly abode.

I had to fight.
I had to fight it.
I had to take a flight from this state of mind capitalizing on the circumstances circumnavigating me
To land at a port where even the air is given freedom to flow.

So...with books in my left hand and a pen in my right hand, I handed what was left and used the right to write.
My words oozed like a virgin's menstrual flow and covered sheets with the blood of many years of hurt and pain and anger and frustrations
My words painted my world with colours of bright depressions, laughing sadness and the browns of an earth I would have drowned in.
My words were my death, my grave, my resurrection, my saving grace!

On this journey to find myself, I follow my self through a wilderness of hard words.
And where this road ends, I do not know...
I can only hope that it leads me home.

Thanks @rahul.stan for your review.