GRENDEL'S AUNT (an original poem) - Part 3
In my novel, The Grim Girl's Gallowglass, this metered ode is written by a faery poet named Brighid. In pre-Christian Irish mythology, Brigid (spelled differently) was a member of the Tuatha Dé Danann, a supernatural race. She was the goddess "whom poets adored."
"Grendel's Aunt" follows a hero named Hymm who transacts a business deal with Dwenndis, aunt of the monster Grendel, from Beowulf.
A toe did Dame Dwenndis indent on the head
of the monster there garg'ling his phlegm.
An eye slowly opened as gas fleed the brute.
“Play not for auntie on thine anal lute!”
He knew not his aunt, for she rarely came by,
so he asked, “Who the uncle are you?”
“I'm your aunt, matronymically blessed with a name
while my sister, who's lacking the same,
was the woman who bore you and often implores you
to practice the tactics of mauling you learned.
My sister, she loves you, but honestly, lad,
the rest of your kin is concerned.
His Nephilim build housed insanitized brains;
His blood was descended from Cain.
He lived near the poisonous Lake Mon Santeau
where the waves bore the scum of ill oysters below,
where a fam'ly of eelpout, enslaved by the smelt,
Taught the tuna to torture the trout.
Dwenndis avoided nephew-ious monsters
who pharted their way alongshore.
For Grendel was fond of the gaseous bean
And his sphincter analus was muscled and lean.
The horns on his head grew from rectums instead
and his snot was unsure where to exit.
“Play not for auntie on thine anal lute!” I'm lost for words, but admiration, nevertheless.
Thank you. I'm a prissy woman who never even says the word "fart" so this was both difficult and fun to write. :)
I imagine any prissiness is really only a very thin veneer.