The Herds Calling - Poem
I’m attending a poetry workshop with American famous poet James Ragan. We not only read a lot of poetry but we also have to create few poems of our own. This is my first poem in English to be honest, but there will be more from this series that will all be published here on Steemit. By sharing it here I might inspire people, maybe I could get some feedback. Win/win situation either way!
In the middle of a crowded green paradise,
The smoke of liberty is the sole unchained entity,
Gaoler’s whole bundle of keys imprecise,
Yourself – the only being capable of unlocking your identity.
Disgustingly early in the morning,
Unstick eyes – first, second, third,
From something nothing,
That is the way of the herd.
I’m just a hippie with rhymes,
A bass-beaten face on,
Ignoring all the noise of chimes,
Calling you to be the next pawn.
Life’s never ending liberty-race,
Where goal is to not lose the pace.
Very nice poem, it's nice to read. Have a nice day.
I will follow you, follow me back if u want much fun and amazing picture everyday.
Thanks for the nice words! Sadly I’m more into text, rather than images, therefore you do not offer what I seek :).
Really awesome poem. I can relate to that. :D Hope to see some more.
Thank you! They will come! Occasionally but still…:)
That's good too. :D
I like cattle! Fun poem.
thanks
Really deep. The images the peom create in ones mind is amazing!
Thank you! Your feedback is appreciated.
Great job, I said it would be good :)
Thank you! All the support is just great:).
Life really is "... never ending liberty-pace," but that's how life really is. Can't tell how things will treat you, but nevertheless, I don't like being a pawn, somehow I can simply live with a herd with nice fresh of air and an old car lying on the hood counting clouds! I think its a nice place to be!
So do I! I would just change a few things here and there if I had the power :D.
Hiya! I wanted to upvote your poem, and then realized it's already been paid out. Well done though! I haven't reached a place where I've been able to compose in my non-native language yet, but hope to in Spanish one day! Have fun at the workshop. It sounds great!
Thanks man! It’s taken some time. I was basically searching for Czech metaphors and equivocations hoping they will still make sense when translated:P
Actually, you know, that may be a great insight into some cool poetic devices. Because sometimes you lost a little in translation, but there's usually sense behind the way something is phrased (even if it's not familiar) so it may sound really insightful in the non-original language!