Haiku, image [ENG/ITA]

in #poetry6 years ago (edited)

eyeemfiltered1535810266242.jpg

Original by @f3nix - 01.09.2018

Late summer drizzle -
scent of boiling tomatoes
blends with memories


Pioggia sospesa -
l'odor di conserva si
mischia ai ricordi




世の中や蝶の暮らしも忙しき - 小林一茶

banner f3nix 3 (2).png

banner-divisorio_2.jpg

Dont' miss the next @bananafish contest:

Haiku contest brand 28.08.18.png

Sort:  

Ogni tuo haiku è diventato una piacevole sorpresa per me!
È incredibile in quanto poco tempo tu abbia perfezionato la tua voce poetica!

Almeno ho dato un po'di senso a questo fine settimana insulso. Con gli haiku é una continua ricerca e mi gratificano molto.. merito tuo, grazie Marco!

There are times when we are more likely to remember and there are aromas that make us remember, my dear @f3nix! They say that rainy nights and days lend themselves to nostalgia. Tastes and smells can also trigger memories. Constantine Cavafis spoke of a memory of the body, hence some odors do not make us sigh or sigh.Un grande abbraccio

Thanks for your meaningful comment, dear Nancy. I didn't know Cavafis, now you made me curious about him.. but your words reminded me of Marcel Proust. It's true this haiku was very nostalgic.. you totally understood its spirit. It's been a lovely surprise to see your comment..Take care 😊

The mystery of translation--usually I suspect the translator, but in this case that would be foolish :)
I just wonder, do you feel you capture your sense better in Italian or in English? And in which language did you first express this idea?
To me, it is more gently expressed in Italian, although I'm just going by the music of the words and not the literal meaning. I know very little Italian, but my mother's family used to speak it when I was a child and so I have great affection for the language.
By the way, very evocative--recalls for me my mother beginning "the sauce" on a Sunday morning. Ritual in our household.

Awesome comment, as always.
The two language versions here differ a lot one from the other in comparison with other haiku I previously wrote. This was born in English and then it's been adapted in Italian. The Italian part says a lot less than the English one: there's not the "mid-summer", nor the "boiling". On the other hand, the Italian version presents an adjective linked to the rain that I like a lot: suspended. Some poets and researchers theorised that, being English a more synoptic language, the structure should be 3-5-3 instead of 5-7-5 on. As a matter of fact, I wrote 3-5-3 in English and it's quite feasible. Here there was simply too much to say in that kitchen, on a late Saturday, with the last tomatoes of the season ready to become our winter's sauce and all the memories connected with those aromas blending together with that of a rain reminding us that fall is just around the corner.. So I "cheated" starting in English ;-)

And back too you, for awesomeness. Got me looking up congruent vs synoptic language. Not literate in linguistics, but my mind is open to the challenge. Love language.
Delighted that you relate to "the sauce"--I also had the sense of autumn as I read this.

Nice Haiku mate. Describing a perfect moment with that presence that good Haiku have, almost zen. It's very sensory which is where the zen vibe comes from for me. Love it :-)

I will soon make a longer poetry out of that, there was too much to say! I've always this feeling but then, IF they are good ones (and I don't know how to explain, when they're good it's like two lego bricks matching together perfectly), the sense of missing parts leaves place to a sense of whole. Thanks, your appreciation means a lot for me, bud!

Literary taste of this one is pretty good, i wish i could taste those tomatoes too :) . Upvote given.

Thanks. The boiling tomatoes are the last gifts of this summer and will be the sauce in our winter season dishes. I tried by respecting the 17 on to insert the kigo but most of all wabi for the domestic ritual and mono no aware.

Welcome. And good to see someone well versed in art of haiku and its terminology.

A haiku contest will be held at our @bananafish next Friday, in case you want to give it a try :-)

With pleasure. I have already participated in some haiku contests here. So i will be glad to take up another opportunity :) . Check my poems, if you wish, too :) .

Will do that ✌️

Thanks! :)


This post was shared in the Curation Collective Discord community for curators, and upvoted and resteemed by the @c-squared community account after manual review.

Thanks for your support @c-squared!

Congratulations @f3nix! You have completed the following achievement on Steemit and have been rewarded with new badge(s) :

Award for the number of comments received

Click on the badge to view your Board of Honor.
If you no longer want to receive notifications, reply to this comment with the word STOP

Do you like SteemitBoard's project? Then Vote for its witness and get one more award!

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.19
TRX 0.15
JST 0.029
BTC 63207.55
ETH 2571.17
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.82