the BXXXTY project - 🍆 💦 💦 💦

dannycygan (30)in #poetry • 6 years ago (edited)

Welcome to the BXXXTY project. the BXXXTY project is a healing platform through exploring sexuality that will include a 5-episode podcast pilot scheduled for release in august 2018. The words shared here are intended to articulate the challenges I experience because of childhood sexual trauma, as a creative outlet to address them but also make people aware of the value I desire to share with others through the BXXXTY project experience. All that is shared is with the intent to drive awareness of the BXXXTY project & inspire others to activate their own healing process.

Excited to find more people like us to use creativity to heal 🧚🏽‍♂️. contact me at [email protected] to collab <3

LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK! Do you hear the message? Can you relate? What can you teach us from your experience? Your healing?

I LOVE YOU !

danny<3

posted date 6/13/2018
creation date 11/20/2015
creator danny cygan
meaning
The addiction that I carried for porn at such a young age significantly skewed the reality that I was living in. The views I shared of women from a sexual perspective was carried a lot because of porn. How I used porn to substitute the happiness I didn't have in my life & fighting so hard to find. Writing the meaning of this now (today) comes with mixed emotions. No stirring the pot, other than blending the feelings of what I used to believe, to what I believe now. The similarities in perspectives of now versus the past on these words share the element of looking to find my own self-love. Porn, back then, was such an easy way to get me to a continued state of happiness through orgasm. It was the love that I searched for & didn't even know how to define in the past. Now, you can catch me loving myself completely without even having to watch porn to do so. I love my silliness. I love my locks of hair. I love the tattoos I have. I love the scars I carry on my life experience. I love the elements that have fed into the way I experience my own sexuality because of my past (which makes my presence :D). Anyways...here's the juicy morsels of words :*

addicted.
I can't deflect
this. this that consumes
and pollutes my mind.
my eyes,
my soul inside.
Ever present,
yet never a gift,
just conflict.
GET THE FCK OUT!
I don't deserve you here,
but the sensual feelings,
orgasmic,
they want you here.
lets hear the foundations,
thrusting hips,
melting lips,
strips of clothes
scattered all up on the floor.
penetrating objects,
my eyes, my dick, my soul. refused to object,
this little 10 year old boy,
introduced to such destruction.
yet to beat this disease,
still fight.....