Mute Hysteria

Dressed in blue creases she staggered to the...wall
silently staring outward from the ground floor window
Just one more rundown brownstone courtyard view
picture parched in summer's last days of the dog
Images of cracked, hardened parched soil...bone yard

In her mind she wept standing with her back to...all
scenes of September rains swirling on the horizon
Wondering what tender fury of wind or winged fate
chanced a single seed that became so much more
Spring brought summer sun and warmth...and hate

Shuddering she searched a hole in which to...crawl
she saw but a lone survivor of delicate pink oblivion
To all but the sun and the lifeblood's intimate organ
how in this hell can such a miracle as this one happen
Bowing she prayed for a beauty weeping...the orphan

Thoughts of memories she knew better than to...recall
all she has lived through was all she shared with none
Staring at a blooming orphan she tugged upon her hair
knees seemed like water as shoulders hunched within
Sharp blue creases were streaking as if by...lightning air

A mind racing through flashes fighting a need to...fall
oblivious to that behind outside she felt urged to run
To the sun cracked yard grab hold the orphan hang on
instead she shuddered as images of mayhem taunted
She knew the signs of her fracturing mind...turtle pond

Hate love hurry and wait was all she knew since...small
a mother who heard not a child's need or her pleadings
No father was there one in all that had come and gone
still herself she'll never forget nor for her to just forgive
Self avow got her out into a world of doubt...same song

Muted sound bring greetings of colleges replies not at...all
hang on to beauty of vision blue flashing and red tassels
A deep breath through closed window scent of the magic
of the solitary carefree orphan plant she wished so were she
So unlike yet the same uncalled for one so lovely...so tragic

Never understanding feeling penned she kicks at her...stall
wanting to be someone more than she needed not anyone
Isolation and survival kept her impulses always auto check
education was everything an egress from what might still be
Then came the running times on edges elated...push reject

Love often quickly went reality is only felt during the...fall
this frantic time when life heaved loudest a gift was given
A baby she had yet still such a child was she still a mother
refocused there was love in her arms trusting eyes smiles
She did what she had to daughter would know...no brother

Retreat and struggle alone not for anything would she...crawl
school and work brought peace but at home love was her base
She chose her directions alone to make her child grow proud
still into her life came another different love from time to time
Strife followed such love like her mother's mind...cold shroud

Her job was to serve and deal with life's messes on the...ball
her reward for her efforts was insane sanity and teen unseen
Driven by her mother daughter could do no other than study
passion was found in all that did grow scent of happier times
When mother and child were of a single mind...all muddied

Blue creases the orphan outside her child in university...hall
top of her class hopeful happy quickly glanced at pink hearts
On her wrist a circled tattoo a gift to each other linked always
she sobbed then laughed aloud to cover up her inner turmoil
No one could know how steeled her heart now cold...a glaze

Blue creased still and quiet now the price she paid not...small
by any count of any currency no one could extract sum total
As sure as the blood of mother and daughter run through ages
It was the early years of life set stage for confusion and strife
All senses for them heightened euphoric bliss...from enrages

Woeful scene in stifling brownstone plaster falls from the...wall
pink hearted bracelet lay gently against cold pink hearted neck
A pair of would be survivors life's bounty within each one's grasp
a hand slid to her daughter's breast and there settled in her heart
Slipping into that void ubiquitous awaits us one and all...ever last

Outside that window of her visions pink an orphan stood...tall
humid hot and silently oozing white clear nectar sends signal
To the parasites bees hummingbirds and wind drift butterflys
world turned as it always has another survivor feeds the future
For all that partake in life's offering and in so doing...never die

Embracing the chaotic as flashing blue red sirens city...sprawl
arriving on the scene of another summer's dog day afternoon
No hate just sadness another loss to madness world seething
trampled in crowded yard an orphaned amaranthus, caudatus
pink hearts seed to nothingness too often love...lies bleeding.

photo and poem copyright b.a.paul 7/15/17