Hopeful Holes

My head is loud and throat is throbbing with useless silent words.
Body buckling.
How do I free myself? how do I leave it by the side of the road?
If I dump my care in the ocean and wash myself clean,
will I still be me?
My suffering is for nothing
No one will miss what pain is felt
And I will gain nothing.
Move it remove it for change,
change in action, mind and soul,
my environment will animate and
my mind movement makes for power without regretful existence.
Stuck in hopeful holes still and
continuing to draw little satisfaction beyond material change and
I stay the same,
unfulfilled by the measure of my consciousness.
So now,
to commit to my transcendence,
transcendence from perpetual disappointment,
to a less familiar path for my eyes.