Headaches and Heartbreaks
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9 years ago in #poetry by clayboyn (70)
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Headaches and Heartbreaks
View this post on Hive: Headaches and Heartbreaks
It's very beautiful post!!
Your job is very good :)
Thanks, figured I would go at it while the wound was still fresh : /
Wow, thanks for all the support everyone. Hopefully it wasn't too depressing. Sapio life is rarely understood by the people we fixate on. I don't even understand it myself some times.
Great powerful poem!
thanks
you're welcome! Hope you read some of my work as well as it's been truly a rough year for a lot of us, and it's imperative to me people read my writings on the matter. I've got a lot to say.
I'll check them out, I don't really do much emotional shit, but when I feel for someone it's everything. Crippling. I generally don't even talk about being Sapio because most people just argue it isn't a real thing. On some level I wish they were right...
I hear you. I really do. I've wondered that myself but I like old fashioned love, and would like a wife one day, have a faithful marriage and have a family. I know it sounds traditional but that's what I like. I know a lot of people that are Sapio though so, I understand what you're saying. It can become crippling in the heart I suppose? I think love for the most part is that way anyways. Sort of a toss up whether or not people are broken or not. Some people can fake really well, others can't. I just feel I can see it, and think what I see for myself. But, I'm out to help people and help people to become more who they want to be, and less what the world thinks is best for them. This world is just filled with people, and people are all sorts of wrong I believe all the time - even about our own selves. It's weird, but - I don't think anyone is any better then anyone else. Just different behaviors and actions people take... that is all it is to me. Granted I wish that we could all agree on something, but sadly I don't think that it will ever happen... maybe just that we need to drink water and eat - and normal things, but other then that I mean something empowering. More then what we already know.
That's the thing though. It doesn't even have anything to do with relationship goals or long term vision. It's just how I am attracted to someone. I never know who or when I will fixate on someone. It really sounds strange to describe. It's like you get to know someone and before you realize it the mental connection you feel is overwhelming. It doesn't always manifest sexually from my experience. It's the only way I seem to develop an emotional connection with anyone. If I feel that mental connection, it pulls me in like a magnet. They take over my brain. I start to predict their emotions and responses. It is a fucking weird feeling. If you read my other post I made the day after this, it's a lucid dream I had that gives you an idea of how I view someone I'm attracted to, and it's weird because it's a fairly friendly relationship and not sexual. It's on some level comparable to being an empath but it's always been specifically constrained to one individual at a time. It's like she is my best friend, little sister, mother, and most intense lover all rolled into one being. It's not the kind of thing you can explain to someone and there is no way to describe it without sounding like a psychopath. All I know is it me almost instantly, this is the most intense connection I have ever felt to another person, and I would do anything for them. All in a relationship that doesn't even need to be romantic. It isn't like sex doesn't cross my mind and I clearly find her attractive, but I would never do anything to put that connection at risk and I wouldn't push for something they didn't want. It isn't just an attraction or arousal based on intelligence, which is why I hate that definition. It's more like noone else exists. I haven't seriously thought about another person of any relation in any real manner for 2 years. I hope this makes some sense.
you're welcome!