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RE: 5 Minute Freewrite (Poetry) - Twilight Loss
P.S.
It took me a while to recover from this poem. The opening lines are gorgeous. The refrain, that tart steaming in the window, is a great image and a reminder of our expectations of being alive long enough to eat it (my motto: eat desert first, because you never know when a comet might take us out like the dinosaurs). Does anyone cool pies in windowsills anymore? Yes, I'm running off on tangents, trying not to think about the child taken by the pox and the final lines. You break my heart, Raj. But you do it so beautifully.
Ha ha, I don't think it's something you'd see anymore but the character of the mother in that poem is kinda meant to be set in the fantasy world I'm creating. I'm hoping to take that poem and insert it (all be it re-written) somewhere in first of the trilogy.
Yeah, I wanted it to be the crux, or literary device, that really brings the tragedy that this woman is feeling home. All the other imagery is about her either feeling lost or wanting to end the suffering. I feel like the counterpoint of the pie, something that is a pleasure of life, with the stark reality of her situation really drives it home.
Lol, it was a lively and upbeat poem ;-)
You did convey the profound sense of loss - beautifully, memorably!
I was just feeling kind of old, with the pie-in-the-window image from yesteryear. Something about that image is so rich, connoting so much, and yet it seems that we who remember pies cooling in windows are dying off, and it's the end of an era. You're right about the freedom of the 5-minute freewrite to uncork things we've held inside. Let them out. Let the words flow. You're a pro at it!