RE: A Greying Pane [original poetry]
This is an incredible practice in mindfulness, @geke, an art form captured in verse for sure.
I liked the page turning and smoking imagery you set the stage with here; the emphasis on the details to pull your readers into a piece that is details, wherein the message lies.
The sense of feel and that connection with the narrator before the transition to the seeing of the unseen. The revelatory nature of this turn, again rooted in the details of details, and the way it sets the reader up for the recognition of the small pieces that compose this moment, this image.
and the snap feeling of cold glass against the press of skin and the way that imitates the eureka moment so succinctly, nothing else needs to be said.
it may be perfectly framed by some good use of div class formatting, and I think that's indicative of how it is framed at the wall corner, or against the window pane.
Gives it that multidimensional feel, it's all too mindful. Lovely read, @geke.
Nobody has ever given me such a detailed and mindful response. Thank you for that, and thank you for reading. I appreciate your feedback and I'm so glad you enjoyed it.