Anno Mundi - Writers Block Poetry Contest Week 2

in #poetry6 years ago (edited)

Jean Baptiste Oudry - Death nature with shooting gear and flowers II.jpg

                I come upon this place
        by means of roads long forgotten,
a once street now overgrown with revolution
        in asseveration to an older God.

                Roots slither and hiss
from fissured cracks in sun stained asphalt,
        the bent forms of worshiping trees
        congregate in secluded cloisters,
                praise the slivers of light
                that line their forms.

                Abeyant and consigned,
        even the winds are reluctant
intruders to the sacred stillness.

Lethe touches of coarse undergrowth
                ink masterpieces,
        dew and refracted lights
bathe my stripped feet and ankles,
                carve canyons -
leave their impressions upon mine
        as I have left upon theirs.

        Graceless, I trample the nesting wasp,
tuck him in his self-built casket of canvased art
with steady hands and one sure step.

Absent any sense of awareness,
        I hum a requiem lullaby,
                as much for the wood
                        as for the journey,

        in death we find justice in life -
        no teeth to take, no eye to give -

                I come upon this place,
        surely this is the dying season.


IOW_WM_BLACK.png

@isleofwrite logo design by @PegasusPhysics

to the dawn of eternal bloomings
        and the serpent eating himself.

written for The Writers' Block Poetry Contest and inspired by James Wright’s
Lying in a Hammock at William Duffy’s Farm in Pine Island, Minnesota”.

cover image is Jean Baptiste Oudry's 'Mort de la nature avec tir Gear Fleurs II' and is public commons.

Sort:  

this was the piece that intimidated me. It appears to be so much as a masterpiece, that I am not sure any of my comments can do it justice, but I will try my best; this poem deserves the best!

The first two stanzas portray quite a cohesive image of the stillness and the abandoned place. Within the second half of the poem, there is an acceptance of death. It is written in a way that does not disturb my inner peace, but rather rests it. It assures that in death we find justice; and it almost feels as if I am welcoming death with open arms.

This was breathtaking to read.... Didn't think it were possible to go any darker than Wright's last line- yet, here it is.

That was certainly the goal, Inna, elated that you found some value in my scrawlings!

thank you so much for the read and the kind comment, good miss.

Mmm you painted such a lovely picture in my mind with this one! Delightful atmosphere you laid out! The kind of imagery I enjoy!
Slightly malevolent whilst hinting of darker, older forces...

i may have been reading too much of your works so that they are all bleeding into my own, haha.

thank you for the read, my friend.

Magnificent !!! I love how deeply you entwine your words to make a poem really Pop out at the reader.. I was teleported to this place you mentioned and it felt like a very shady and underground-esque city... Also the stanza about trampling the nesting wast brought forth so much poetic insight.. Well done

thank you so much for the kind words and read, @lonestarpoet, delighted that the setting became something tangible for you and that you found value in the words.

honored, mate.

Yes! Thank you for your brilliant response.

to be visited by such an accomplished writer here on steem, and to be blessed with a read and such kind words, i can't thank you enough @girlbeforemirror. honored.

I loved this. It was great imagery all throughout which really set the scene well. It made the final line hit that much harder, because it takes the reader by surprise. Like moving from the concrete to the abstract. Nice write.

thank you for the kind words, Moe, means much and more from a poet i highly respect.

just as you always seem to capture that impact in the last lines of your writing, so to am i striving in my writings - all the best, good sir.

This post has been resteemed as part of the Steemit Newbie Resteem Initiative. :)

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.19
TRX 0.14
JST 0.029
BTC 64316.46
ETH 3170.91
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.49