Verses of youth: 2 more poems of pain and confusion from my twenties (Part 2 of 3)

Hello friends,

I'd like to share some more personal writings here, another couple of poems written two decades ago, when I was in my twenties. In a previous post, I shared two poems from the same period of my life which centred around the theme of pain and confusion. This theme is expanded in the poems below – I'm now in my mid-twenties and the sentiment seems to hit the bottom of the dark, meaningless pit of life....until, at the end of the second poem, there is a glimmer of hope, a little ray of light pointing a possible way out of the darkness.

This is the second in what will be a series of three posts, totalling six poems from my twenties.

Thanks for reading

Namaste

Untitled (completed Jan 1998, St. Andrews)

The sky thunders and sweats
the box shakes,
my brow is not my own
thoughts cower under scathing eyes
and sanity whispers its secret lies...

“I come here at will
at will I shall go
for I am the mind
that you do not yet know.”

Terror abounds at every step,
a vile temporary clarity – tongues
masks, and ordinary insanity.
Bloody vomit pours from the skies
then sanity whispers its treacherous lies...

“There is no answer
a mind can ever know
no simple salvation
no, no, no, NO!”

Flashes tempt the soul in an endless circle -
love, fame, knowledge – purple
opiates of hollow laughter,
nowt remains of those deep blue skies
darkness gnaws at my terrified eyes
as sanity whispers its powerful lies...

“I do what I will
what I will you don't know
no answer will come
and the question won't go

“I lift you to the skies
your hopes I dash to the floor
I keep you second guessing
I give you the illusion of more

“Your confusion and heartache
in breezes I blow
and scatter the ashes
in the darkness below

“Search as you might
your progress is slow
for I am the mind
that you do not yet know!”


Untitled (completed sometime in 1997, location ?)

Notions!
Oceans of notions
keep coming into my head.
Notions!
Ghastly notions
they're taking over my head.

Oceans!
The motion of notions
is round and round in my head.
Notions!
Deathly notions
they'll keep at it till I'm dead!

Motions..
...slow motions,
rubble swims round in my head.
Lutions!
Soo-lutions,
it's the notions themselves that are dead!