I liked it
It sort of created images of Moby Dick, but of course, I do not know the true images that inspired you.
Keep writing, only by doing so will you achieve your potential.
PS: I'm not comfortable with the change in tenses, can you explain it to me?
I look up with such disdain
And the sky responded with cold rain
Thanks, Arthur.
I really appreciate your feedback. I will take your advice to heart. I was inspired by an epic that I read a couple of months ago. Sadly, I don't remember what it was.
To sort your confusion, I didn't really mean a change of tenses at that part. I was kind of referring to how shunned the sailor is.
Thanks again!
It just popped into my mind. The poem that inspired me to write this is called "The Seafarer".
Sorry, haha
...
But age fares against him, his face paleth,
Grey-haired he groaneth, knows gone companions,
Lordly men are to earth o'ergiven,
Nor may he then the flesh-cover, whose life ceaseth,
Nor eat the sweet nor feel the sorry,
Nor stir hand nor think in mid heart,
And though he strew the grave with gold,
His born brothers, their buried bodies
Be an unlikely treasure hoard.
By Ezra Pound
This one?
If so, glad to see ol' Ezra is not forgotten