Desperate Thoughts

Sometimes the thought of
Death is soothing
Knowing I won't have to wake up
With you plaguing
This already shattered Mind.
It's like we have this rope
Between us
Tugging my soul towards you
Even when I want you gone.
Bluntly put
I wonder what you would say.
If you would cry just for yourself
Or finally understand
Actions have consequences
Even unintended.
What would happen if
I let this connection
Tighten around my throat?
Would you realize
My love was til Death?
And even in Death,
I don't know if our souls
Will part...
I'm lost
And to be clear
I don't want to die
But Death is soothing
To a tormented mind.

Amethyst

(A picture from just a few days ago when I felt great. Longing for that manic state...)