in #poetry4 years ago (edited)

Hi everyone,

this post will be short as I'm feeling quite tired after working like a madman all day.

It's a translation of an old poem of mine about... something related to a madman or whatever.

Have a read:




Get the eyes of the keen madman moving,
he’s a long sleepless night

His fingers dial a dreadfully young rheumatism,
he’s moments of desire and despair

Ups and downs he counts as even numbers,
he’s an odd number of precious metals

He’s a mountain bathed in sunset gold –
shower him with shadows cast by clouds

He’s a bunch of red stones stacked high –
his shirt is tied and tie-dyed like Mars

He’s an empty cottage soaking in sun –
moons and stars may also factor in

Get the heart of the keen madman pumping,
he’s a king of yellow in yellow

His eyes falter behind a nearsightedness in sprint,
his are the bruised rhymes, shins

Words and verses are curds of curses,
he’s all that you never wrote down


How you you see this poem?



This poem was more interesting in its own right - the message delivered and the images evoked. I could picture the madman's eyes sprinting, sensibilities lost to his lust for gold eons prior. A creature of desperation - Kind of like the Wild West and Gollum from the Lord of the Rings had an illegitimate child. ;c)

Also - I couldn't help but feel that there is a song in there somewhere.

Interesting. Thanks for sharing.

Steemit allows you up to 5 tags. Use them all and use them wisely :cP Perhaps #goldrush or #mountain might have worked well?

Hi there, @pathforger, thanks for your comment!

I've already updated my post to include these two tags, so I guess they might help? Who knows!

It's not like I'm expecting a huge readership on here anyway.

Regarding the imagery - I must have written the original as a metaphor for trying to find inspiration around oneself, which is why I tried to do the translation in a similar manner. The connections to the Wild West and Gollum are more than appreciated! :) :D

As for there being a song in there somewhere - I guess that's up to your ears and musical abilities. Perhaps the poem has a certain sing-song rhythm (which I doubt, but still).

Sorry if I'm being a bit negative, it's been a long tough day.

Have a good one!

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