A GOLD MOUNTAIN

in #poetry4 years ago (edited)

Hi everyone,

this post will be short as I'm feeling quite tired after working like a madman all day.

It's a translation of an old poem of mine about... something related to a madman or whatever.

Have a read:

Source

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A GOLD MOUNTAIN

Get the eyes of the keen madman moving,
he’s a long sleepless night

His fingers dial a dreadfully young rheumatism,
he’s moments of desire and despair

Ups and downs he counts as even numbers,
he’s an odd number of precious metals

He’s a mountain bathed in sunset gold –
shower him with shadows cast by clouds

He’s a bunch of red stones stacked high –
his shirt is tied and tie-dyed like Mars

He’s an empty cottage soaking in sun –
moons and stars may also factor in

Get the heart of the keen madman pumping,
he’s a king of yellow in yellow

His eyes falter behind a nearsightedness in sprint,
his are the bruised rhymes, shins

Words and verses are curds of curses,
he’s all that you never wrote down

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How you you see this poem?

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This poem was more interesting in its own right - the message delivered and the images evoked. I could picture the madman's eyes sprinting, sensibilities lost to his lust for gold eons prior. A creature of desperation - Kind of like the Wild West and Gollum from the Lord of the Rings had an illegitimate child. ;c)

Also - I couldn't help but feel that there is a song in there somewhere.

Interesting. Thanks for sharing.

Steemit allows you up to 5 tags. Use them all and use them wisely :cP Perhaps #goldrush or #mountain might have worked well?

Hi there, @pathforger, thanks for your comment!

I've already updated my post to include these two tags, so I guess they might help? Who knows!

It's not like I'm expecting a huge readership on here anyway.

Regarding the imagery - I must have written the original as a metaphor for trying to find inspiration around oneself, which is why I tried to do the translation in a similar manner. The connections to the Wild West and Gollum are more than appreciated! :) :D

As for there being a song in there somewhere - I guess that's up to your ears and musical abilities. Perhaps the poem has a certain sing-song rhythm (which I doubt, but still).

Sorry if I'm being a bit negative, it's been a long tough day.

Have a good one!

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