Emerging (4)

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Emerging
By Stephen Martin

(4)

When I heard of your loss
I mourned unending,
I still mourn today.

We were little ones
And they much bigger.
I was curious and so were you,
But they were predators,
And I couldn’t protect you.
I was ashamed of this.

I heard years later that one of them
Wanted to apologize to me–
For what they did to Jenny and me.

No mention of you.

The second hand apology came
Through an unreliable source
And I wonder if it’s true;
I’m not so sure.
Wouldn’t I remember something?
I don’t.

But I do remember me and you
And one of them
In the back of a pickup
Under a camper shell,
Under blankets.
And later when the story came out
I was not a part of it.
Was I a part of it?
I have a vague fog about this.

I mentioned it to you
Over the phone a few years back
When I told you about the apology
And you said I probably was a part of it.
I wish I could remember.

I long for that butterfly moment.

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