Diary Entry - 18.02.16

people often ask me why i dont cut my hair
and all they do is stare. they think that i care
to be fair i dont see a reason to be annoyed
if i said something they would prolly get destroyed
well thats what the old me like five moths back
would do. respond with negativity. in fact
the me five months back would not be glad
hearin me say this. itd prolly make him mad
but now i sit here. i just painted my walls
wanted something brighter. niagara falls
i still burn incense like every single day
that much is same. i burned five today
maybe it was six i dont count them to be honest
about my hair see i just want it the longest
you might not like it and say i look gay
i respect your opinion. i must say
over the last three months or so
i got less judgemental and more
accepting of others. im happy how far
i came. i still dont want a car
i want to move to thailand
for no reason. i hate ireland
i love it though at the same time but i just
feel like i must leave or ill bust.
i went raw for a week and a half. it was nice
i felt tempted to eat cooked once or twice
but then i went back to eating cooked
then i fell in love as soon as i looked
in the eyes of that one girl damn
but then i realised that i am
not really in love just mesmirized by
her eyes and face. i love the night sky
you might ask why i wrote this.
i came a long way since i wrote the infinite abyss.
i got more into osho. im glad i read
more. i realised that my creativity is a seed
hiding inside waiting for me to
water it and let it bloom. i now am who
i was looking for for so long
i feel so strong. i am prolly wrong
in half of this poem and will change the way
i look at everything i said by the next day.
but thats the beauty i learnt recently. i learnt
that everything changes. see the current
moment is never going to be the same
again. life has no replays. its not like a game
but thats the beauty so i rejoice
i lost many friends but that was my choice
or was it really i do not know
but i do know that i am me so
whatever i say and whatever you read
is all subjective. meanwhile ill be smoking weed.