Hi I’m KaliKat – Welcome to my life in poems - 9
When things are not quite how they seem…
Ok by now you have worked out that my x-husband was a bit of snake… and that’s putting it mildly.
I didn’t know just how slimy he was until 2002…
Not only did my x have numerous affairs during our marriage but he also had another sick and twisted secret that would rock my world like nothing else could.
Most parents feel like they have one real job, to protect their children from harm, I thought I was doing a great job until I accidentally found out what my daughters so called father was doing to her…
She was around 12 when I found out… it had started when she was 6…
I felt for a very very long time that I had failed my daughter in the worst possible way… I know now that it was not me that failed my children but their father.
This poem was written on a court document and was read by the judge that sentenced the monster that I had married.
Alone Inside My Darkness.
I don’t know how to deal with this, I don’t know what to say
I didn’t think at 41 my life would be this way
I had a husband, kids, a house, I thought I had a life
I didn’t know for 20 years, I’d been a paedophiles wife
I slept beside him most every night, wrapped tightly in his arms
I forgave his infidelities and succumbed to all his charms
I loved this man with all I had, I believed all of his lies
Then I watched my life disintegrate before my very eyes
My children keep me walking, on this god forsaken earth
Without them there’s no meaning my life would have no worth
He stole my child’s innocence for reasons left unsaid
Alone inside my darkness…
I just wish that he were dead…
Our lives spiralled out of control for a number of years after this discovery…
You might be asking yourself “how could she not know this was going on”… trust me, I have asked myself that same question more times than I care to remember.
I can honestly say that I really had no idea at all. When I mistakenly found a letter she had written to a friend I felt my entire world shatter in an instance…
and from that moment, I did everything in my power to ensure that my child knew I would go to the end of the earth to make him accountable for his actions…
I could keep going on here but it’s an awfully long and drawn out story… the bottom line is, both of my children have grown to be well adjusted adults who are confident, caring and strong individuals, which any mother would be proud of.
Neither of them have any contact with their biological father.
And yes, he did do some time in the big house.
Next post we will still be wandering through the dark side….
Cheers
KaliKat