I'm Not A Frog

One day whilst walking with my dog, we spied ourselves a puzzled frog.

It shuffled left and shuffled right, the pooch jumped up to have a bite,

My dog bore down, her nostril’s flared, the frog was looking pretty scared.

I held her back with all my strength, the lead proved a most unhelpful length.

Leave him be poor little frog, I snapped at Rosie my naughty dog.

I’m not a frog you silly arse, the frog spat angrily from the grass.

Rosie froze and looked at me, hellooo said froggy grumpily.

I’m not a frog my name is Ray, and I'm having a really dreadful day.

Well Rosie gasped and to our surprise tears started falling from Froggy eyes.

It took a while for Ray to calm, and feel a bit more safe from harm,

Well Rosie was bored and that was that, she left me and Ray to chew the fat.

It turns out Ray had quite the tale from soaring heights to epic fail.

He danced the lights, he’d partied hard but scary forces had marked his card

One such night in a distant land, Ray was grooving on the sand,

The moon was full the spirit high, fever filled the starlit sky,

And then he saw her all alone, a Queen sat on a sandy throne.

Well, being a friendly sort of guy, the Queen caught Raymond’s blurry eye.

Hello he thought what have we here, fear not dear Queen for Ray is near!

The queen just sniffed and whispered no and told Ray firmly that he should go.

He should have listened, he should have run but Ray was having too much fun!

Oh come on Queeny he blurted out, I’m not some lowlife little lout.

One kiss is all I ask of you, one kiss, I promise that will do.

The queen stared down with an iron gaze, Ray was in a beaming in a daze,

I told you boy, I told you good. You want a kiss? I think you should.

With that she stetched her finger tips and pulled Ray quickly to her lips.

The sky became a fire cracker, the Queen delivered quite a smacker.

So next thing you know I look like this, all because of a stupid kiss.

See it turns out Queeny was not a Queen, but a witch with powers and very mean.

So now I’m stuck, just as you see, Ray is gone and what’s left is me.

Well I just didn’t know what to say, and I did feel kind of bad for Ray.

I’ll help you Ray, if I can but I won’t pretend I’m a froggy fan.

You kissed a witch, and now you’re green, it’s quite the weirdest thing I’ve seen.

It’s clear that you’re in quite a mess, we need to find a friendly Princess.

I can’t be sure but it seems to me that kissing might just to be the key!

A Princess? Well that was it, Ray didn’t like it one little bit.

Frogs are green so you couldn’t tell. But Ray wasn’t feeling very well.

In fact he was feeling rather sick when out of the blue came the lick!

Rosie was back and bouncing away, happy and licking her new pal Ray!

Urgh said Ray. I’m covered in drool, now I’m a grossed out dog spit fool!

Sorry about that I said with a smile, Rosie hasn’t tasted frog in a while!

Before he could speak the world went boom, Ray was spinning like a lune.

Lights were flashing, magic raged, Froggy changes disengaged.

And just as quick as it began the lights were still and Ray was a man.

Thank you said Ray hugging me tight, I told him that it was quite all right.

But what happened? Well here’s the thing. See Rosie’s Dad is a Doggy King.

So for all Ray might look quite a mess, he’d been licked by a Dog Princess.

Well good. I said. And I’m not being rude. But Ray you are completely nude.

Ray looked down and blushed bright red, I best be home to my lovely bed.

So off he went his head dipped low, I didn’t know where he would go.

But as Ray walked off, feeling rotten, something was wagging above his bottom.