Beetle [Poem]

I've been trying to cry just to get it aloud so that I can start fresh like my tears are the detergent and all of this fucking paint is just a stain matter of piss and vomit that I exhausted.

I've been trying to cry because I'm addicted to the feeling of assault taste and a wet face made out of broken hearts and broken microphones.

I've been trying to cry for fucking weeks just to feel the tears drip down my chin so i can feel something other than nothing like I can love you even though I know that I can't.

Because how does a broken record play music, yet somehow my broken hand and manages to grasp the edge because i can't seem to fall for you.

I've been trying to cry so I can make this dirt in the grave I buried myself in the muddy because i can't look at your face your eyes your hands sliding up my thigh holy shit you are so fucking hot.

I want to kiss you but just like loud noises lips they tend to scare me too just like a gun I would rather bright bullets.

I've been trying to cry for you because you're so sweet and so kind and every time you touch me I think I might die.

Because you deserve to have someone feel more than just your hips thrust but it can't seem to trust and I wish I could tell you why but I'm sort of shy.

I like you so much even my therapist knows your name but she is good at keeping secrets and we both know it's no secret that I'm insane.

Just like the Beatles i want to hold your hand but just like a beetle I've been crushed by the hand of a man or you fucking I've lost count let's start a band.

We could play guitars and headband or we could just bang but let's not make a casual let's fuck until we cry or break the bed whichever comes first but we won't know that unless we try.

I am being crushed these emotions that won't come out like I'm a waterspout during the California drought these tears they just won't come out.

I thought this poem would finally end in tears but I guess I'm just gonna have to leave it right here alright so that was my palm.