I ALWAYS WONDERED
You knew only hate
Why you could not encourage me
You knew only belittlement
Why you could not show me affection
You knew only the power of the fist
Why you had secrets
You knew only shame
Why you could not share monetary gain
You knew only greed
Why you never cried
You knew only control
Why you never showed me tenderness
You knew only rage.
But he could not
He tried to control you
But you put up a fight
He tried to degrade you
But you sustained your pride
He tried not to love you
And this he did well.
You look at me with pure admiration
I show you encouragement
You look at me and I see hope
I show you affection
You look at me and I see unlimited gratitude
You have shared secrets
And now I have peace
I no longer need monetary gain
Because I have your acceptance
Yesterday there was a tear in your eye
Because you are momentarily out of control
We show each other tenderness
And that gives each other strength
But he failed
The jokes on him
He made you strong willed
He made you defiant
He made you a fighter
And today I thank him for that.
This very beautiful.
It must have been a very hard time for you being denied a good relationship with your father growing up. It takes a special person (you) in the end after all you must have went through to show love and compassion for the man.
It looks like you got through to him. Perhaps his decayed state contributed as well, but I'm sure it was also him witnessing your kindness.
You may have saved his very soul. I don't know what happened after that time but in the eyes of God, it sounds like your dad may have shown remorse for the life he led and choices he made. Perhaps he received forgiveness not only from you but from God as well. You played a part in that.
All the best...
P.S. I don't re-steem posts often but with this one I can't resist.
Good Morning. Thank you for the lovely comments. Like yourself poetry in the way I vent and process of letting go. My Dad has since passed quit a few years ago but those last few years he was a lot more loving and kind and I accepted all that oh so willingly. I know he always loved me he was just so damaged he didn't know how to show it. But with the stroke and his fear it overpowered all that and dropped his guard and he loved me the best that my Dad could and that was enough for me. The fact that you resteemed my poem is an honor as I cherish your opinion.
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