The Divide {Original Poem}
This poem is inspired by @beanz & @skeptic - I like ‘em both. It is dedicated to them both and @gonzo who made the picture look nice and fit properly!
Image credit
The Divide
There’s a barrier between us
Are its colours mine or yours?
One side graffitied: “cunt”
The other declares: “war”.
A blockade constructed
Of experience and pain:
Divergent world editions
Never could script us the same.
My own forward’s a mystery:
A code without a key.
I can’t decipher you
Until I unlock me.
Two barriers between us:
I tagged mine and you tagged yours.
Maybe we could melt them
And make revolving doors?
i'm guessing one side is more popular than other. No idea what this is all in reference to, but I am intrigued...also it's is always a contraction, its is possessive. Sorry to be a grammar nazi :)
That's fine about the grammar-one can't always spot ones own typos. It's just about people arguing and being polarised by their own life experience, but hints at the possibility of understanding between very different people, when such positions are rejected.
You might be the middle ground.
:O
Interesting topic. clever.. revolving doors do have something mysterious about them can feel it when you walk through them :D I followed you and upvoted :D I write poetry as well please follow back if you like my material!
Thanks, I'll check you out!
I think these two lines the strongest image-
One side sprayed with, “cunt”
The other declares, “war”.
I see war as crimson, not sure about the color of cunt?
Lol-pink? It was more a graffiti image I was going for, that's why I uses speech marks and later on, "tagged".
You’re moved to write a poem, because you feel called upon to sing, because of that transcendent impulse. This poem appears to me to be less than the sum of its parts. The best imagery was saved for the last 2 lines. Not your best poem, but not your worst either. 5/10.
I edited it so that the graffiti theme is clearer. Maybe it's a 6 now ;)
Indeed. Clearer theme = 5.5/10 ;) (I can only give half points for edits!)
How many points for an extra stanza? Lol!
5.75/10...keep trying...you might make 6 :))