All the way
There is no halfway. There is only all the way with those I consider my people. It is rare my walls come down and I allow myself to be vulnerable with people. It is then the roots run deep down towards the core leaving lasting marks. Which makes me even more cautions to keep my fortifications in check and be extremely selective about those I open up to.
Never been much of everyone’s best friend. Chasing to please everyone. Either there is pure connection or there isn’t one. It is ok not to be everyone’s cup of tea. My strangeness is my strength, not my weakness as it was often painted before me. I’ve had my fair share of doubts of course, plenty of what’s wrong with me and how to be just normal, but we are all freaks by nature. Take it or leave it, or really just fuck off!
With genuine care and vulnerability comes great deal of pain as well. When my people are hurting, I am hurting with them wishing I had the magic fix button to take away all their struggles and suffering even when I can’t help, I can’t help it. At some point we all have to accept the fact that we are actually not supposed to be the fix or solution to everything. It is one of the hardest parts for me since I wish only the best things in their lives.
Never been much of everyone’s best friend. Chasing to please everyone. Either there is pure connection or there isn’t one. It is ok not to be everyone’s cup of tea. My strangeness is my strength, not my weakness as it was often painted before me. I’ve had my fair share of doubts of course, plenty of what’s wrong with me and how to be just normal, but we are all freaks by nature. Take it or leave it, or really just fuck off!
With genuine care and vulnerability comes great deal of pain as well. When my people are hurting, I am hurting with them wishing I had the magic fix button to take away all their struggles and suffering even when I can’t help, I can’t help it. At some point we all have to accept the fact that we are actually not supposed to be the fix or solution to everything. It is one of the hardest parts for me since I wish only the best things in their lives.
Song of the day: Massive Attack, Parley for The Oceans - Home of the Whale (Mayday Mix)
Wise words. Before, let's say, even 5y ago I tried to be liked by many people. Now it seems rediculous! How can I be liked by everyone? I can't..
Thank you :)
It seems so unnecessary as well. For example, I know a person who tried to be "friendly" with everyone around and it just felt not genuine, forced and as if underneath all the words there was hiding some sort of agenda. Result was complete opposite of what this person was trying to achieve.
I was smiling right through every word here because it was like you were talking about me.
😬 😎
Although recently I have been retracting my feelings a bit, and so I don't feel the pain of my people as much as I used to. My uncle recently died of cancer, for example, and I really struggled to summon the sympathy and sadness I knew I should be feeling for my cousin and aunt. Not sure where this jadedness is coming from... I think it's probably that the people that are my family by blood are slowly becoming less and less my people. And my fortifications are growing.
Here's a quote from one of my favourite books from my teenage years:
By the way, could you tell me how to get white-listed with ocdb? =)
P.S. - I went to the post office the other day ;)
Ahaha! I was a little harsh with words there I guess, but it seemed appropriate for the point I was trying to make :)
Oh my goodness! Richard Bach, Illusions! I absolutely loved that book and I also read it in my teenage years. I would love to read it again some time soon and absolutely feel the same way about what the quote says. Some of my close friends I consider my people I see so rarely and some I actually have never met in flesh. It is so strange and wonderful at the same time :)
Aww. That is exciting ^^ Waiting patiently, hehe
You know, I'm not even surprised that you love Illusions ;) ... I actually read his book "One" first and loved it. I then went on to read most of his books, but Illusions was just so special.
And yes indeed... My best friend, I met online, when I was 17. He and I were able to meet 6 months later as we both lived in Cape Town but most of the time we've spent together has been online.
I replied to your msg in Discord, btw.
Hi m31. That is the only way to be. Take me as I am or piss off. There is no middle ground with that and it is not normal to like everyone.
Hi cryptoandcoffee. For sure, but I've seen quite a few people out there who are trying so hard to be best buddies to everyone they meet that makes me wonder at the end of the day how genuine are those connections and friendships.
This is such a powerful article and such a creative way that it touches my heart, Please make more post like this. thanks you very much, happy friday.
Aw thank you, hope it was lovely Friday and weekend for you too :)
I realized in high school I had no calling to be everyone’s best friend. I liked everyone surely, but could they say the same for me? Who knows. They didn’t have to. I’m only close to those that I genuinely care about.
Thank you for stopping by @thatkidsblack! :)
I was very serious as a kid, I had to be with all the things happening in my family, so I always stayed away from the foolish, childish behaviors or simply did know what good it was for. For that I was often resented or called ice queen. I did want to be friendly with people, but it became clear to me that they were not able to accept me the way I was and I also understood that playing something you are not is not making things better.
It's nice to see how different we people are. For me, pretty much everyone is "halfway".
I'm feeling it's similar the other way around, I'm just "halfway" friend to them. At least most.
Sometimes I envy those who can wholeheartedly trust others and give them the appreciation they deserve.
I guess I am really unable to do much of "halfway" and therefore get hurt often by those who apparently can, so I build walls and fortifications. It is not to keep them away, but more to keep myself away to protect myself. Sometimes it really sucks and wish it was way easier for me. Maybe I just haven't discovered how yet :)
People pleasing is a sure way to self destruction dear M. Better to learn to be one's own best friend and from there to please those who please you. People pleasing is a weakness of people who don't have the will to say no and it get's one into all sorts of trouble. Hope you're well?
Lovely shot..my friend m31....i like it
Thank you :)
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STOPTo support your work, I also upvoted your post!