How I Feel About Selfies ATM

in photography •  last year 

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In the last few weeks, I've been having trouble in the self portrait department. I feel really self conscious, ugly, my skin is bad and I don't even look good in the mirror, let alone on camera.

This is NOT one of those pity party things where I sit here waiting for you to lift me up. It’s called self-esteem for a reason, and it has very little to do with your opinions about me. You guys always say that I look good and fine and sexy and all that, and of course I do! I choose to show you that split second where all things lock in place and I look good. The light, hair, makeup, angle and facial expression, and even after that, it all goes through some photoshopping.

When I first started this blog, it was for me to share my self portraits, my way of letting out feelings I didn't know how else to get out. I put so much into my self portraits, there is almost always a story behind them, even if I don't tell you it all; broken hearts, disappointed, feeling trapped, angry, what ever you can think of. Sometimes I create characters to tell my stories, or just flat out make up a story I had the inspiration for.

Lately I just haven’t been feeling like I want to use half a day trying to make myself look better than I am and get that perfect self portrait. I have a lot of great ideas, that I can not do because I don't feel good about myself in from of the camera. I do nothing half heartedly, so I won't do them because I would hate the end result, no matter what you guys say about it, (you are too nice anyways). I also don’t want to waste a good idea by executing it badly.

I’ve slowly started to add photographs other than myself; nature sceneries and pictures from some travels. I was actually very surprised at first when you guys actually wanted to see more from me than my half naked self. I felt happy, and relieved, because I have a lot more to share than just some selfies, and I don’t want to create the illusion that is Eveuncovered, every damn day. I know I’ve already mastered the self portraits, but now I want to master all other kinds of photography too. I’m actually waiting on a delivery of a new lens, to replace the horrible kit lens I’ve had for about 8(!?) years…

My blog was and always will be heavy on the photographs, wether it is about me, nature, food or travels, depending on my mood and what I am doing. I am thankful that you guys have supported and encouraged me in all those different areas of photography.

Thank you.

PS. How ironic is it that I took a self portraits for a post talking about not wanting to take self portraits... Well, the light made me do it and that is what guides me.

PPS. Just this once, I put up the full size photograph, just open the pic in a another tab. You can get real up close and personal.

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Nice picture. Very beautiful

To please yourself can be a difficult task indeed. And trying to force things can lead to even bigger disappointment. Sometimes after finishing a chapter of a book I felt like it was below my level. Strange thing is that if I tried to edit or rewrite them with that unseasy mindset the result was always less than I desired. Other times I was so happy with my writing that it felt like I could do no wrong. Those days were the most productive and required little to no edit at all. Same situation with puzzles. If I am frustrated or sad about not finding the right piece then progress becomes very slow. Other times I just pick a piece without even looking for it and it fits right away. So if you do not feel like making selfies don't try to force it. Seeing photos without a passion or a soul would be worse than not seeing them at all. your photos has that spark. Don't lose it. foodporn, natureporn, travelporn, writingporn...they all have their own appeal. Besides all of them should help to charge your batteries.

I feel the same way, when you have the right feel, everything seems to come out so easily, it a wonderful feeling, but when it doesn’t, it sucks. I hate forcing anything creative, it doesn’t work and it shows in the end result. I’m glad that I have so many different mediums I can use as my creative outlet, I don’t have to rely on just one.

I do nothing half heartedly, so I won't do them because I would hate the end result

@eveuncovered I can relate to this statement personally, but I would argue that you are in fact doing something about it just by posting your thoughts regarding the disposition! Also you are multi faceted. I've noticed this about you. Sometimes when one of our personal aspects is lacking, we must explore our other talents and take a break (so to speak) from the area we may not be finding inspiration in.

I will conform to a narcissistic vantage point, and use myself as an example. My writing has been immensely blocked lately, but I refuse to do nothing, because I know I have other talents. So I started recording some videos of myself pouring it all out on guitar. I really hate the fact that I don't have the proper equipment to record, but I record anyways. My my recent post was recognized, and upvoted to an amount that I have never experienced, or would have expected on Steemit. To me this equates to one simple aspect.
Although our perception of ourselves may suffer sometimes do to issues with our self esteem, others may perceive you in an entirely different manner.
This is true, regardless of protests to the contrary, because I can pick apart and tell you a multitude of things that I find wrong with my recording, but yet others connected with it in a way that is unique to themselves, and did not judge the flaws (derogatorily speaking).

This is NOT one of those pity party things where I sit here waiting for you to lift me up. It’s called self-esteem for a reason, and it has very little to do with your opinions about me.

Very true. I'm sure you could figure out by now, that I too suffer from self esteem issues at times. At the moment, my nutrition has been pretty terrible, and I have gained some weight, and have had a hard time controlling it, and I am not going to try to feed you some uplifting shit to try to kiss up, and feed into the whole fairytales and rainbow shit. I am going to tell you exactly what I see, and it's yours to perceive how you wish.
I see A beautiful woman in her prime that goes the extra mile to look her best, and deliver quality photography to her viewers because she takes pride in herself, and what she does
There will always be moments in our lives where we our down on ourselves, and the tides just don't seem to be shifting correctly. I'm also feeling the same way as I am writing this, but I also believe in myself, and I believe in the people I have developed a relationship with on Steemit. That includes YOU @eveuncovered.
I hope that the next time you look into the mirror, your perception will have changed. Embrace what you are. You are beautiful !

P.S. I upvoted my own comment here to ensure you get to see it..I'm not really a narcissist lol.

It's good to have many different hobbies and interest to switch between when you are feeling like one is not working for you that day. Yes, I did got this one self portraits, and it worked out just like I wanted it to, but I am resorting to hiding in the shadows and the comfort of black and white. I have ideas and photographic stories that require me to be really seen and in colour, but those can stay in the idea bank for now. I'm very erratic and all or a sudden I might feel the inspiration and self confidence to do them, I never know in advance.

I'm glad you brought up the bad diet, because it is definitely something that has a lot of effect to how we look and feel about ourselves. I know I don't look it, but it is something I struggle with and I love junk food and it's a constant battle in trying to find the back bone to not eat it. I know that eating healthy makes me look and feel better, but we as humans are weak to temptation and hedonism.

Omg, don't say I'm on my prime, makes it sound like it's all downhill from here 😂

I see you got Curied, congrats man, you deserve it! :)

In my opinion „prime“ is mostly about the mindset as well. I am in my prime today. i will be in my prime tomorrow. And definitely intend to be in my prime after 20-25 years. I see no reason why the same would not apply to you. So I believe that this word should not be scary at all.

Well shit, some men like a woman in her prime! And women have it better in that sense. They say a man is in his prime from 25 to 30,and a woman 30 to 40...WTF? So by those numbers, I've just left my prime.. But you look "barely in your prime " so you have plenty of time. No worries!

Thank you for your vote of confidence with me getting Curie, it is an amazing feeling, even if I don't really feel worthy. I've certainly been trying my best.

And @eveuncovered as far as the junk food is concerned. Let me show you futuremind on a good day....

IMG_20180325_233056.jpg

That is futuremind reading an @eveuncovered post 😄

Shhhh, men only get better with age! It's not fair!

Do whatever you love to do :)

So much feelings behind a photo!

tears that moisten the cheeks

Everyone is ugly if you only look for the negatives.
Everyone is beautiful if you focus on the positives.

Always happy to see non portrait shots. Like those ones from Thailand

you are beautiful no matter what. you come first.

I wish you all the best in becoming who you are. Your inner voice is the best guide. Sending you love and strength for the path you are on. Stay brave and true to yourself and everything will be perfect.

Great post and it is good that you are tired of the facade. Take the mask off and be you. If people do not like you for that then screw em. There is nothing to be gained that matters by wearing a mask. You will always wonder whether people actually like or care for you and this will cause you to not enjoy whatever you do get from wearing the mask including money. So in short just do you my dear. Some of us are here for you either way.

We all go through that phase of stagnation.
Time to up your skills. :P

Photography is such a horrible hobby, there is so much to learn and endless amounts of gear to get😅

That tear of light doe...

Sometimes I am in the right place in the right time.

Or the right time and the right place are always there, we just have to visit more often. Meta.

Excellent picture, I like the light streak. Did you use a slightly open door to get that effect?

Thank you :) The light came from the crack between the curtains.

Nice post, love the expression in the pic so much

Life is funny, because even when you do what you think you want to do, it is no gaurantee to happiness, self fufilment, or success for that matter. I have delt with depression for around 9 years now (not taking any antidepressants), and the daily struggle is real. I have recently started drawing/doodling/painting to use as a theraputic outlet and have found it relaxing as well as somewhat uplifting when feeling down. I hope that you can find that theraputic aspect of your photography and use it to feel better about yourself. Lastly, it's our imperfections which make us unique individuals, because if we were all perfect we'd all be the same.

This article is quite deep. You are a good writer not just beautiful and sexy. Nice photo.

When did your posts got dramatic? You are still pretty, no matter what, and even though I didn't made my presence senseed here, I still followed your posts closely. You always want more from yourself and that is okay! What I think you can improve is to make peace with yourself. You should accept you as you are, because you are definetely prettier than 90% of the girls and arguably prettier than the reat 10%. That was a compliment, really, don't kill me now!

People always want more and want to be more than they are, forgetting to appreciate what they have and what they are. Don't be one of them, you are better than that!

If this is the first "drama" you see from me, I'm going to be very disappointed in either my own abilities as a photographer, or yours as the viewer.

I was not talking about the photos, but about the text. Women tend to be dramatic usually so most of them do not impress me anyway :))

Such a great photograph and I am glad you have the confidence to share different kinds of photographs as they are really good, keep going.

Good pic.thanks

You don't need to be self conscious. You look pretty, your skin looks great and so do you even in and outside a mirror!

Maybe it's Maybelline, maybe it's Photoshop :)

I suppose this is a kind of writers block funk you are in and I know it is something you have to work through yourself so I'll give no words trying to boost your ego. I would love to see you explore more nature photography and maybe include yourself in them. The nude in a landscape can lead to some very beautiful works of art.

I would love to do that, but it's cold in Finland, and in order to do selfies, I have to be alone, and in a place I know no one will walk in on me. It's a hard scenario to find.

It's because you came home from vacations, life will be better soon!!

just avoid florescent lights if possible, nobody looks good under florescent lights.

I don't even go to places with fluorescent lights, and definitely don't take pictures in one!

What lens did you order? I love my 50mm 1.8 on my Nikon, it's great for portraits and producing close ups.

I took this with the 35mm 1.8, which I love, but I was in dire need of something wider with the same kind of performance as these primes. So I ordered the Sigma 18-35mm 1.8, it had amazing reviews everywhere, I hope it lives up to them :D

Just be careful with the change with focal lengths as it can either compress or expand your facial features.

I miss photography

I know :)

very pretty photo! follow

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Still a really pretty girl. Hönö

Great a article and pretty a girl.

With as much talent as you have, you have no reason to have a pity party. I get it that you don't like your appearance sometimes. Most everyone gets that way. But your readers see you in a different light. Your picture on this post is an example of that. The light looking like a teardrop running down your face. That is beautiful. As is your talent. Beauty is internal and you have placed 1st in the talent competition.

Thanks for the post.

No thanks for the comment.

Hermosa fotografía!

If they looking for half nude of anyone, they should directly go to porn site. The photo look very sad and I thought you were crying at first glance. Life is a choice and every morning I wake up, I always choose the positive side. So cheer up! Bring more colourful photo of yours please.

This is a beautiful shot. The darkness, the sole streak of light, the off-center orientation. Such a raw, vulnerable shot that's only deepened by the words in your entry. It almost feels a disservice to call it a "selfie" instead of a self-portrait.
Regardless, showing that kind of vulnerability is brave. Thank you for sharing it with us.

Thank you very many :) I’m trying to learn how to capture more true feelings, instead of a made up world.

You are beautiful and this photo is amazing! Please, don't feel ugly ;)

Just be yourself and don't be influenced by other people. Do what you want and what you think is right to do. Wish you best of luck 😁. Peace ✌

Any more platitudes to offer? I suggest some Latin ones like Carpe Diem.

  ·  last year Reveal Comment

Oot nuin rumaksi ihan jees <3 ..hha;D

If you know you have great ideas just do them, fear is the worst enemy of ideas, dare to do the things you have in mind, put them into action. It is true that mental state influences a lot, but always seeks to be happy with people who really appreciate and value their work. I see and feel a lot of sincerity and passion in their publications, I wish you the best, a greeting from Peru.

  ·  last year Reveal Comment

Comments like this and self votes do not deserve to be on the top of my precious comment section.