I was dumb enough to try and use an older and very forlorn little 32GB flash drive to move almost 1TB of files around. This was a plan I had obviously not thought through very well. Into my 3rd hour of running back and forth I finally got sick of the ordeal. It was at that time I decided I would order a much larger drive from Amazon and schedule it for same day delivery.

While this may seem like a reasonable enough reaction to most people, I also have a thing for stacking promotions and taking forever when choosing new hardware. I began to work on searching for promotions to lessen the burden to my wallet and lay claim to the biggest flash drive I could afford.

Much to my surprise I found a 256GB flash drive on sale for $60 and as a bonus I had also found a promotion for $15 off any purchase made with my credit card reward points. I was ecstatic. $45 dollars, free same day shipping and by the end of the day my mission would be complete! Satisfied with my new plan of action, I went to place my order just as Murphy's Law decided it was time to give me hell...

Right off the bat the promo code didn't work upon checkout. No big deal I thought, I'll just have a service rep fix this once I place my order. Wrong again. The rep I was connected to in web chat could hardly type let alone speak English enough to understand what I was asking. I just wanted my flash drive, but life it would seem had a different plan in mind.

I was informed by the rep that my situation would be escalated to the promotions department and that they would get back to me in 48 hours. So much for my same day plans... To make matters more frustrating, I was told not to place my order in the event something went wrong with the promotions team. I don't know what she meant by that because the worst they could say was no, but I chose to listen anyway. The beers from earlier were working by now and it was very obvious during my discussion with Amazon.

By this time the sun was starting to rise and I was pissed off. I began to complain that I pay $99 a year for same day shipping so I damn well should be able to get things when I want them, not when I'm told it's convenient for Amazon. This of course did nothing to improve my situation so I again cracked open a new beer.

Fast Forward about half an hour for a smoke break and another beer...

At this point I was failing in my mission, kind of drunk, and I had decided a phone chat would the best way to get what I wanted. My damned flash drive and my damned discount! I then was immediately put on hold. This too had been yet another mistake...

Or was it? Fumbling around on their website I saw that Amazon Prime now included Prime Fresh in my area?

I had no idea what this was but hold music sucks, so I drunkenly clicked away until I saw that their new service delivered groceries and had a selection of almost half a million items to choose from (or so it seemed) at the time. I could even get $25 off my first order too? It was on like Donkey Kong now. The sun was up and I was too drunk to deal with my flash drive mess so I decided to have them bring me pizzas, and lots of them.

Why pizza you might ask? Well, it goes good with beer.

By the time my phone rep finally answered I had all but forgotten about my flash drive because drunken pizza delivered by Amazon sounded like a fantastic idea. My mission was already a bust so beer and pizza was the next best thing. My new phone rep explained to me that all I had to do was tag the food I wanted, schedule a delivery time, and a $25 discount would be automatically deducted along with free same day delivery.

After the flash drive fiasco I made her stay on the phone while my drunken self added almost 20 pizza's to my cart. Why so many? Once again I blame beer... Besides, drunken logic dictated that my $25 off promo along with the $15 I would later demand for using my rewards points would make the entire order free of charge.

I placed my order, drank my beer, forgot all about my deadline to back-up files, and much to my surprise the door bell rang a couple hours later. The postal carrier did not look very happy. It wasn't until I saw 5 large tote bags filled with pizza and dry ice hand delivered at 10 AM that I realized I was being that kind of drunk. The kind who thinks they have a great plan yet somehow manages to turn a simple project into 2 dozen pizzas while drunkenly ranting about a flash drive. Yup, that was me one morning and I was damn proud of it!

*Who those who are like me and call "pics or it didn't happen" here's the invoice for the order and the bags before I unpacked them. A friend mass text it to everyone we know claiming I would get them all free pizzas for a month... If you check the invoice the grand total does indeed show the amount to be $0.

As I said before, I have a bit of a love/hate relationship going on with Amazon; but in the end they always make it right if you get a good rep...