thoughts from August 15th

If I had to do it all over again, I would not have it any other way.

Deep down, despite myself, I knew I would not see her again. Something like a painful truth, a bitter medicine; it was hard to swallow. The truth, that despite our best intentions, I missed my last chance.
I could not have found myself in a happier state of mind, when I heard the plan was to be in my area with another friend, and join me after I left work. Two hours wasn’t enough, I grumbled to myself, but that was my way of saying thanks for the chance.

To see her again.
From the very beginning,
it was clear to me.

She walked in a different realm than I.

Opulent.

A word that after learning some time ago, I finally grasped the definition. I did my best to acknowledge her divinity, but she always laughed, saying I had a flair for drama. Naturally so, as what is life without conflict? You can’t always have it easy. But for the next 120 minutes, it’s what we did. We took it easy. She arrived punctually to my doorstep, and waited. With some effort, she remained undisturbed and I met her outside. A local park is no place for someone of her nature, but she welcomed the idea. Time passed, filled with laughter and smiles, but the weight of the inevitable hung heavily in my chest. I could not reside with a deity forever, for obvious reasons like my lack of own venerable countenance and because she grew tired of her stay in this land. As goddesses are inclined to, she had aims over the horizon. I don’t express my real feelings. What you want may not be what you get, so I get quiet because what I want is too much. I told a goddess I liked her, and spent my soul to say it. I was embraced with open arms, but I knew it would not be forever. It may not have been cool or even romantic, but Varsha accepted my feelings. We kissed. I said goodbye, unknowingly, for the last time.

If I had to do it all over again, I would not have it any other way.

^{(posted from phone)}