Oh. Oh no! Oh, no no no, honey... It's not the last hike forever. It's the first one in this new, different way. I know just what you're facing and I know it feels bad today but it gets less horrible pretty rapidly. When this wretched loss runs its course, you'll feel like it went really fast but while you're in it, just try to let it be exactly how it is. Don't fight it or it will go on a lot longer than it needs to. Sending enormous imaginary hug straight at you.