Conversations With Bud

Bud: Yo, Human... make yourself useful and lend me your opposable thumb there.
Me: What a lovely box. How sweet of you to remember me on Valentine’s.
Bud: Dream on. This is for Fifi.
Me: After your night with the Yorkie twins, I thought you and Fifi were over.
Bud: Just wait till she gets a whiff of these honey-smoked-jerky puppy cookies...she’ll be putty in my paws.
Me: And you think this cheap trick will work?
Bud: Not cheap. Check your credit card.
Me: (sigh) You need to learn that throwing money at your girlfriends won’t improve the odds that she’ll forgive you.
Bud: I have. Which is why I play the odds...Hand me the next box down there...we have to hurry if we are going to get all 20 wrapped and out to my sweethearts before Valentine’s Day.