When life is sometimes cruel, (don't) let the sadness win
So many ugly things were happening around me lately. I mean, no one died, but all the little details added up to one big pile of crap, and I just lost it for a while. I hated everything more than the sun hates the night. I was dragged into the world of sadness by my uncontrollable flow of emotions. I knew that things were soon going to be alright, but at the same time, I wanted to be sad. Do you know that feeling when you want to be sad?
It sounds so ridiculous... but once again, we are humans and rationality is not one of those 'for granted' things. So, I was laying down on a bed, completely sad and devastated, feeling sorry for myself. I felt as if my self-esteem was something which could only be found on fairytales for kids. I felt as if I was quite useless at that time. And no, I'm not depressed or anything. In contrary. I consider myself to be a positive dude. However, it was one of those moments of pure sadness, which is somehow so romantic.
I thought that in a few days when my negative and irrational emotions died out, I would reflect that my sadness was something intriguing and beautiful. And you would not believe it, but that's exactly how I feel at the moment. I mean, I am not sad anymore; I know my plan and further steps; my mind is clear, and my conscience is calm. I just don't understand why I was sad in the first place.
After all, I knew that the sadness would pass pretty soon and it was no point to be upset. The only conclusion I could come up with was that we, humans, are damaged and full of brilliant flaws. And I say it as a compliment. We cannot control our emotions and feelings just a little too much sometimes. And it is a compliment as well. The sooner we understand that there is nothing wrong in being weak from time to time, the sooner we will live to find an eternal happiness. It is one of the sexiest paradoxes out there, and we just have to appreciate it.
Whenever you are sad, be sad with some pure quality! Appreciate the moment because it should (hopefully) pass soon. Yup, even the shittiest -- and yet, so beautiful -- moments have their due date. So cry your hearts our to the sunset if you are sad and seal that romantic moment in your minds!
Oh, so beautiful!
I love the sadness as I usually get more creative when I'm sad!
Hugs, amigo @writingamigo!
Thanks @danilamarilu
Yeah, sadness is quite strange... It is supposed to be a negative emotion, but sometimes it can evolve into beautiful things.
I, too, get creative when I am sad. Then I stop being sad, because I observe my creativity. I think sadness often reveals problems to be solved. This may all be a part of how our brain evolved!
I agree with you @tibra! There is no better way to get rid of sadness than to start doing something creative.
Yes I agree with you. When we are sad, we need to admit we are sad. Let sadness out sometimes and at one point, people just start getting over it and looking for next decision. However, don't be sad too long because if people get into too much sadness, they become deeply depressed which is not good. I think traveling is another way of dealing with sadness. Many people after traveling start finding different perspectives towards what made them sad in the first place.
Oh yes, whenever sadness becomes a state of being, only problems can occur. The best idea would be to live without any emotions whatsoever, but it is impossible for a human being. That is why it is the best option to observe the sadness and wait for a while before making any decisions. Because all the decisions made under influence of any emotion are wrong IMO
I'm gonna state beforehand that I'm looking forward to reading your reply. Even though I've up voted your overall good message, I'm gonna disagree on some parts. I think that sadness is nothing more than state of mind. If I knew what formed your “pile of crap” I could be more specific. Point is that every time a source threatens your well-being – if it's expected – it can be more or less countered by steps that (easily put) makes u happy. If the source is not expected than it’s much harder to do the counter-steps but they can still be made even though they might not work instantly. Where this all leads is that sadness doesn’t actually biologically help with anything and calling it romantic is just another way how to fight against it. For instance when I write book and I’m supersad it kinda helps. At the same time though when I’m happy (and more on the scale) I’m able to do the same things as when I’m sad (and more). Conclusion is don’t embrace the sadness but fight it with means you know works for you because sadness has a lot of side effects on your surrounding (friends, family etc.). I understand that every person is different and you might perceive it differently than I do:).
These are very wise thoughts @fingersik! I must agree with most of it. However, sometimes things work differently in the reality. I mean, I knew what caused my sadness (and I predicted it coming) and I knew what I had to do to get rid of it. However, it still took me a good amount of time to get rid of it. I cannot find an answer why I was still sad if I knew that there were no practical reasons or benefits to feeling that way. That sadness was "not mine" in some strange way. I mean, in general I am a very positive person and being sad is against my nature. On top of that, I knew that there was no reason for that and everything was alright. So I can only come up with one conclusion - we cannot fully control our feelings and they come from outside (I wish I knew where from).
I loved your comment!
This made me think more deeply about the subject. I understand what you’re trying to say here and I have to agree. Even when you know that it’s coming, it might still struck you hard. And I think I realized why. Any time sadness “appears” you have some kind of expectation (be it a happily spent time with someone or huge bills coming your way). When the positive is not fulfilled, you become sad, because a desired outcome has not occurred. That in my experience can be countered by not dreaming out possible outcomes, but rather taking the actions as they happen as facts – then sadness doesn’t appear. When a negative event is coming your way, it´s completely different story. You just prepare the shields the best you can and hope for the best separation of emotion in the particular regard (the more experience and understanding of oneself, the more overall skill). Happy end is though, that both kinds of sadness disappear in due time. It only depends on the skill of fighting it, or rather knowing the means of how to fight it off. What do you think about that? Im gonna follow you so expect my pedant comments on your next philosophical/psychological topics: D. You can do the same if you enjoyed the discussion. Hope to see you again.
Yeah, having no expectations is the ultimate goal in order to get rid of unnecessary sadness. That said, it is probably impossible not to have any kind of expectations (for example, how could we ever take a death of our relatives for granted? or becoming homeless?), so we just have to try our best. I think I improved during my journey around Central/South America as I understood that every time I tried to picture what the next place would look like, I was wrong.
About fighting the sadness. Well, knowing the fact what I want and need to do (at least I think I know) with my life, helps me a lot to overcome any kind of sadness as long as I follow my path. I guess I would become depressed if I stopped doing what I want to do with my life and started chasing someone else's dreams. You know what I mean? So I guess the best way to fight sadness is just to keep on going and adapting to the situation. The world doesn't care about our dreams and wishes; it only cares about the reality. So we have to adapt our wishes to the reality to avoid getting down.
Oh yes, I followed you as well!
I totally know what you mean and agree with everything you said:) I love the experience of visualizing new places never getting to guess how it will look like! I only travel to tournaments and back so I rarely feel the magical moment you expressed.
Well, things are only romantic as long as you don't get to know them. Of course, that moment is cool, but for a couple of first times. After that, you get used to the luxury of traveling :D
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Oh I have missed your writing! It's as if you just open up your heart and let it pump the words out onto the page! I do know exactly what it is like to feel just like that, with no rational explanation, completely overcome. I know what it is like to feel that way with joy as well.
Some people prefer to stay in the "middle of the road" neutral, so that sorrow can never reach them, but I could not live that way, I would not feel as if I were alive that way. I will take the lows and the highs and feel ecstasy in either.
Did I say already that I missed you? I do. I'm sorry that I didn't see this on the day you were here, and I hope you return soon!
I was quite busy with some other things as I am coming up with a new plan how to survive after my journey :D Also, I have invested a lot of time improving my grammar and style (why couldn't I be born in English speaking country, huh?) so that I could continue pursuing my dream towards becoming a known writer. That said, I missed steemit with all its people (especially you!) a lot! I am going to be more active again... I hope.
As for the emotions, I totally get what you said. However, sometimes I feel that we should learn how to control our emotions and instead of staying "in the middle of the road," we could actually feel ecstasy without overwhelming ourselves with unnecessary emotions. You know what I mean? Something like nirvana, but more realistic version. But as long as I am not experienced enough to reach that level, I will be ok with being happy and sad, looking for inspiration in my emotions.
It's like you're inside my head, lol. Yes, I have been thinking about how this could be achieved, in a way that I wasn't numb but at the same time more...nirvana is a good word, maybe enlightened also :)
I see that you made another post yesterday, so I'm going to check that out in a bit. In the future if it is awhile between posts again would you mind dropping a link to a new one in my comments so I don't miss it?
Also, over the next couple of weeks I'm going to start adjusting my blog a bit, instead of mostly posting chapters of my novel I'm going to be branching out. I plan on doing a series called "Exploring The Fingerlakes" , for one thing, which is the area I live.
Sure, I will make sure to inform you whenever I have a new post. But I guess I'll start writing daily again.
I am excited to see how will your blog look like after the transition! :)
Mano mylimas Vilnius:)