I Actually Miss My Ex at the Moment. Can People Just Be Friends?
It has been over 3 months since I last saw or spoke to my ex-girlfriend. It is strange taking into account that I have seen her every day for 2 straight years before splitting up. But I know that it is all for the better. I also know that I miss her at the moment.
Strangely, I cannot miss her being my girlfriend as I would never want to get back with her. I mean, that would be catastrophic for both of us because our signs did not match, you know. And because we were two completely different people trying to find the balance where it could never exist. And yet, I miss her with all my heart at the moment. I miss her like my friend.
It is quite stupid how we tend to throw it all away when only half of the thing is rotten, isn't it? I mean, I and my ex tried hard, found out that it can never work, and split up. However, we became absolute best friends in the meantime... at least before the final day arrived. I could talk (ironically, I was the only one talking for most of the time) with her all day. And we did so much together that it kind of breaks my heart at the moment to realize that it is all gone. I know that it is only a momentary state of being, but it is quite real.
I always wanted the best for my ex-girlfriend and it was hard when I realized that I am far from the best that she can get (I am awesome, don't get me wrong. I am just not that type of awesome that my ex needed). I had to act and break up with her. However, nothing changed ever since - I still want the best for her and I still care that she would live a happy life. And I would love, more than anything else, to have a good talk about life with her. I would love to remember our journey around Americas and our friends. I would love to sit and enjoy each other's company like friends do. Without any intimacy. Without any romantic feelings. Just pure appreciation of a solid friendship. I would love to know that she is doing alright.
I consider myself to be a quite emotional and sensitive person (drama queen much?). I know that tomorrow morning I'll wake up and will probably be over this wave of sensitivity. That is why I am writing this post right now. I want to never forget that I honestly care for the good being of my ex. I hope she can feel that as I doubt she will ever read this article.
So, I am going to sleep feeling quite melancholic, which is both awesome and a little painful. I am going to sleep knowing that I have fully moved on from my breakup but also acknowledging the fact that I have not moved on from our friendship.
I start to believe that love and lust die, but friendship stays forever. I cannot be more happy to fall asleep alone tonight (if you don't yet love being alone, you shall starting loving it now!), but I wish I could say hello to my ex and have a lovely chat about life. Just like friends do.
Miss my ex never glad she ia outa of life aint nobody got that for that
Wow.. This was kind of making me emotional like I am in same situation as you now... But the quote that friendship remains forever is so true ... Love and lust are just like intoxications friendship is what keep people together for long... Wishing you best in life bro
Thanks man! I also believe that those situations, even though they suck big time, are not negative. In contrary, those ugly situations teach you so much about yourself and that is important! Keep being happy, man!
So true, one really needs to understand and know more about oneself ... Someone need time for this as well .. That's the spirit man!!
Awww that is a nice (obviously not for you) story. But you k ow what I mean. Well as You said just before You really break up you guys managed to end up as friends. So maybe now she just need some space to organise her own emotions as well and maybe she miss you as much as You miss her. But it might be good have some space and in the short term You guys can build a new relationship as friends when You both have healed from the break up ❤ I hope so.
Yeah, you can never know! I am actually happy with any scenario, but there are those short periods of time when I miss my ex. I think it's the healing process if you might call it so :D She is a nice person, tho, and I know we would have so much to talk about now, so I just wish that could happen sometime. If not, I am good as well. One thing I learned throughout my life - everything that happens was ought to happen, so we should appreciate it.
I often wonder when the new normal will feel normal?! How have you readjusted with friends and weekends? So much of your life becomes connected. I'm impressed you've been able to keep apart for so long. Praying your heart heals soon!
Oh, strangely it became normal instantly. I am quite quick to adapt to things and I think I even missed being single. However, there is always this bitter feeling left. It doesn't hurt me much and I know it should be here, so I am not depressed about it. I even appreciate it. It makes me realize that I made two good decisions in my life - to start dating my ex and to break up with her. Everything else doesn't matter that much. As for now, I enjoy analyzing my emotions and where they come from.
Every time there is an end to a relationship, I always hope there will be some friendship left at least and it never happens and I'm frustrated and disappointed. I know what you mean. I've been there. I was hanging out with a guy for like 12 hours a day every day for a week. Ok: it is short time, but we did love to hang out together heaps, and when after a week he disappeared I felt fucking shit honestly. I missed the hanging, but honestly, if he thinks I'm not valuable enough, fuck that! I'm way way way more than that. All the friendships I tried to keep with my ex, ended up crap. It is disappointing, but that's the way it is.
Yup, it is most likely doomed! However, every situation is different and you can never know what will happen. Also, you can never know if you will meet those same guys ever again and become friends with them. If it's crap now, it might not be a crap tomorrow
Wow, you have an amazing ability to paint with words. And, BTW, that is a great capture!!! Awesome post and all the best to you, things usually have a way of working themselves out.
Thanks, @cognoscere! I am sure that things will work out. To be honest, they are working out as we speak and I have never been calmer and happier than I am today. I don't have any major issues at the moment and I am enjoying life. I also know (feel) that my ex is doing alright as well. So whatever happens from here, I know that I have made the best possible decision and I am even proud of myself for stepping up when it was needed. It might not be easy sometimes, but life is never easy in general.
Breakups are never cool and the only ex I’ve managed to remain friends with happened about two years after the breakup. No matter how much we want the best for others, I’ve come to realize that we have to take care of ourselves first. I trust you’ll be fine - eventually!
Yup, we must care for ourselves first and we must also realize what can we give to others with our presence! If that presence can only bring pain, what's the point of carrying on? And it doesn't matter if we are going to ever speak with my ex again, she'll still remain my friend.
What are each of your signs?