Tweets by The Wise Sloth on Maturity, Adulting, Growing Up and Parenting

Think of humans as wind-up chimps on autopilot who don’t realize they’re on autopilot. Everything everyone does will make much more sense.

Everyone is: 1.Insane 2. A child 3. So lost they don’t know how lost they are. When you understand that, dealing with people gets easier

If you can find out where a person came from and where they want to go, then you can predict what they’ll likely do in-between.

How to be an adult: Don’t get hurt, defensive and belligerent when someone informs you you’re wrong about something. Instead, say thank you.

The dumber the individual, the dumber the whole. We all have a personal and civic responsibility to not be stupid.

Part of growing up is learning to bring closure to bad memories without the involvement of the people who gave you those memories.

If you call me, “sir,” I won’t think you’re respectful. I’ll think you’ve been brainwashed into subjugating yourself.

Responsibility is doing what you need before doing what you want.

FYI: Just because you had a child doesn’t mean you’re an adult.

To better understand why you are the way you are, ask your parents to explain in detail what your life was like between ages 1-5.

Adulting consists mainly of fulfilling contrived responsibilities that exist only because governments, bosses and bankers are exploiting us.

Kids, don’t get too excited about getting into the adult world and being treated like an adult. You never stop getting treated like a kid.

Statistically speaking, you should be gravely concerned about your inability to accept responsibility for your actions.

Just because you’re older doesn’t mean you’re right. More likely it means you’ve been wrong a long time.

You can’t pretend you’re not old anymore after you start meeting kids who are too young to remember the things that defined your childhood.

How to be an adult: Realize that your age has no bearing on how much other people should respect you or how much you should respect them.

Hurting someone all the time trains them to feel hurt and angry all the time.

It’s baffling how few parents have written instruction books for life to give to their children.

Your kids will freak out over the same size problems as you, to the same extent as you. Don’t show them how to be a spoiled, whiny bitch.

If you had shitty parents, you should seek therapy. If you know someone who had shitty parents, they should seek therapy.

Children need and want answers just as much as adults, but all they get from adults are mythologies and psychotic cartoons.

The way you make your children feel when they’re young is pretty much how they’ll feel when they’re old.