Working myself to death

I have to start seriously thinking about retirement. I have very little preparation for it financially and I do not want to be a burden on my daughter or anyone else for that matter. In fact, part of why I started on Steemit was to start doing something for her and my wife. Every little bit helps as they say and it has been a learning experience in many ways that has opened up new experiences and paths. Preparing for retirement is very important.

The problem is: I never want to retire.

Hang on, isn't that the goal of working, to get to a point (hopefully as early as possible) so that work is no longer required? Yes, for some.

I have always had the view that work is something that adds value to life. Not just economic value but meaning value. This means, work is always required, even if not paid. It is something that one can become passionate about and when passion takes hold, it can be a life long journey of discovery and heartache combined. As resources increase, so does the workload.

Some see work as something to be minimised and avoided if possible. Especially hard work. The idea of work smarter, not harder has taken hold. I completely agree with the saying, but for me, working smarter means I have more space to continue working hard with increased capacity, output and reach. The room to create more, go deeper, live wider.

For many, this is not their experience with work and was never the aim. For example, my parent in-laws are both turning seventy this year and retired several years ago. For them, their life is the way they planned. Comfortable enough to cover bills, have their home paid off and the means to travel somewhere warm every year or two. They spend hours listening to the radio (yes radio) and turn on the TV at 6 to watch the news. Crossword puzzles and knitting abound as well as babysitting grandchildren (and children's pets) occasionally. That sounds quite idyllic and for many, the dream.

I am not discounting this at all, I just have a different view. For me, this type of inactivity seems inefficient and incongruous with my path. Sure, I like to relax and enjoy a little luxurious space from time to time but a life full of that is not for me.

I am just under 40 and probably have 25 years or so of traditional work ahead. That is not much. Going on the current average (This can be affected by many things), I will likely live another 20 years or so on top of that. That is not much either.

45 odd years left to do all I want to do. The things that I want to explore in this world (and others if available) are vast and numerous and would spill over into several lifetimes if given the opportunity. I have things to do. Important things. For me anyway. I am almost half way to that likely final point and yet to even scratch the surface of many of these areas.

These are my interests and fears, the things that will help me be free and possibly help others too. These are areas that have so much value and meaning to me, I cannot spend too many moments putting them on the back burner saying, 'one day I will, when I have enough money or when I retire'.

Not only may that one day never come due to a thousand different unexpected events, waiting for it by whiling away the time doing busy work seems that it would reduce the chances of making a shift into the passions later. To me, each step should take us deeper into our meaning.

People may ask, 'but what is our meaning?' - I don't know, shouldn't you know by now? Meaning is not tied to age or experience, it is tied to understanding of the self. I know myself well enough to know that not attempting to know myself completely is no option at all.

And to know myself completely is going to take work. It will also take investment and collaboration, stumbles, wrong turns and possible disasters. It will shift as I get older too and some things I am capable of now, will have to be put down as my body gives way but, that gives space for other things to be picked up. If all I have is a mind left, that is where the work will be done.

This path will present many obstacles and challenges and from the outside looking in, it may appear as failure to many, as if I have not done what I could have, not lived to my potential. Still have to work. Which is one my fears, not living completely and fully. I just don't see how being content in inactivity will help me or anyone else realise full potential.

At what point will I sit down and say, enough is enough, I am done, I am no longer willing to take another step towards understanding, no longer attempting to try and add value to the world, completely spent, devoid of all energy?

The day I die hopefully.

Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]