The Blame Game

For many of us, it seems that when we make an error, rather than admitting fault, we will instead lay blame. This is of course not uncommon and is likely due to an unwillingness to an reluctance to acknowledge failure or and unwillingness to lose face in the eyes of another, or perhaps more importantly, ourselves.

Blaming others for our personal errors is a protection of the self in our own eyes, a protection of the ego. We do not want to face our own shortcomings at the best of times so when mistakes of our own doing to take place, we look for a target to carry the weight. Often, an innocent target.

We choose someone who may have no actual connection to the error itself but could be connected to some aspect of it, in some way. This is also often only the public face of the blame game to divert attention away from the real causes. This is common in user error cases, especially when what actually happened is hearsay.

When there is no way to get the chain of events clear, it is much easier to play the blame game as there are grey areas that it could go either way. And more often than not, the favour leans towards the defence of the 'little guy' as people are increasingly cautious or untrusting of the big fish.

But, the problem comes when the error is made and there is still a chance for corrective action. Many people resort to protecting their ego before getting the case sorted. This is common because unfortunately, people act upon emotions thoughtlessly so the protective act happens before critical thinking takes place.

This means the blame, the anger, the guilt trip or similar gets directed at the target who is often also the one likely to be able to solve the issue. This means that the target, likely knowing they are not to blame or would investigate the situation, is probably going to be less than willing to help someone that laid unwarranted blame. It will raise their own defensive walls instead.

The intuitive emotional force of blame is usually counter-productive to finding a solution to the problem faced. For me, this goes to show something about how powerful and destructive some emotions can be as often they will burn the bridges of possibility to protect the ego now.

With a little bit of thought, it would obviously get things moving much faster to be able to admit fault quickly so that the solutions can start getting worked upon. This is especially important in time sensitive matters where each moment passes reduces chances of solution or lessens the ability to mitigate losses.

Perhaps a big part of the game itself is the ability to reduce the time it takes moving between trying to protect the ego and onto trying to find a solution. It seems that those who are able to do this successfully are also the ones that are front-runners in their respective areas as they are able to fail often and fast without attaching it to themselves or spending time looking for a scapegoat.

This doesn't just apply to small error either, it applies to poor positioning of all sorts including life. There are all kinds of influencing factors on our lives that are outside of our locus of control but, blaming them for their existence is unlikely to eventuate in a better position. No matter the causes of the pain, the poverty, the discomfort, blame does little to help.

What I have found personally in this area is that I am running out of people to blame. This not because I have already blamed everyone I possibly could but, as I learn and understand more, I take increased responsibility in my own existence. This eventuates with only one person to blame when things go wrong, me.

But, I don't spend too much time hating on myself either as that doesn't get me any closer to a solution but rather, holds my from it. Instead, I give myself a proverbial slap on the face to wake myself up and set myself to work to see if there is something that can be done to correct the error. When it involves working with others, even if they are partly or entirely to blame, I work with them instead of against them.

It is rarely easy though as those protective emotions are very seductive and addictive and the more they are used, the more readily they are available. This is one reason why we live in a world of endless victims without the proactivity to step up and face reality. The game is afoot.

Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]