The Bad Boy Fallacy
"What I love about Bad Boys is the mystery"
Women seem to love the idea of the bad boy, the rebel without a cause, the untamed and unpredictable man who is difficult to pin down. I think it is the romance of it, the association of spontaneity and the attraction of having to be the huntress, rather than the hunted. All of these things seem to come together to give an impression of 'who knows where it will lead'.
An illusion. A cultural lie perpetuated by the self.
Most of my friends throughout life have been women, if I had to guess, I would put the ratio as 10:1 favoring the feminine. I have heard the arguments for chasing the bad boy many times, I have see the capture, the whirlwinds, the repetitive nature of the human psyche that keeps going back for more.
This repetition may be to the inherent challenge involved in trying to 'secure' a bad boy, to place him into a cage and take ownership, like the head of a lion mounted on the wall. The thrill of getting the impossible commitment. I have watched it play out many times over the last 25 years I have paid attention.
I have questioned the behavior extensively too, curious as to why so many of my friends would choose the same path, many sticking to it for years on end, many still attempting to bag a bad boy. the reason I have wondered it is that the conflict in the argument between what they desire and what they chase and the smoke they use to justify their actions.
I have sat there with friends as they have cried over broken promises, I have heard 'He said I was the only one' and 'never again' over and over and over only to have the situation repeat a few months down the track. I have tried, as I so often do, to raise the questions and shine a light into their misery, mostly to no avail, the pattern, the attraction of the bad boy illusion is too strong.
The problem is the foundational reasoning, the idea of the mystery they use for justification of action is a fallacy. There is no mystery in a known destination, no matter the winding route to get there. And, the destination is known, the bad boy inevitably leads to the same position, heartbreak and tears, utterly predictable by nature.
The mystery is in the unknown, the beginning that has no foreseeable end. When it comes to a partner, it is the person which is a continual question mark and this is rarely the bad boy. This is the nice guy, the one who a woman never knows if he is the one, but so often sweeps away feet, steals the heart when it was never on offer.
Mysteries lay in unmet expectations, when answers unasked arrive, new questions raised. It is from here where the love of a life is built, where passion truly springs. It is from this point where a journey of unknowable length stretches out into eternity.
Yet many women are caught in an emotional loop, a roller coaster ride always begins and ends at the same point. The trouble is that so many are chasing a bad boy, when what they may actually desire is a good man.
Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]
Good men on the extreme range of goodness are men who don't drink alcohol, don't smoke, don't use drugs, don't use vulgar language but who are responsible and reliable with a moral foundation. Such men are sociallly outcasts. They are seldom seen as attractive unless they are physically beautiful.
Doctor John this paragraph is gold, it is perfect, it is the truth.
It is interesting that a closer a person is to an ideal, the less interesting they become.
You started to lose me towards the end of the article are you saying you are a nice guy?
"This is the nice guy, the one who a woman never knows if he is the one, but so often sweeps away feet, steals the heart when it was never on offer."
I don't understand what you mean by this its not really properly structured english.
At the end when you say many women are caught in an emotional loop - thats it, thats the reason for going after bad boys they are addicted to emotions. A nice guy has no interest in rocking the boat so the emotions are not stimulated and the female loses interest.
Firstly, I never mentioned that I was a nice guy, nor a bad boy.
Secondly, this is prose, if I was writing a service guide on how to maintain an air-conditioner, I would not write this way at all.
Thirdly, if you are going to get stuck on grammar, make sure your sentences are properly structured themselves.
This sentence should be something along the lines of: I don't understand what you mean by this, as it is not really properly structured English.
Having said that, this is not about grammar at all, it is about a narrative. Meaning is not derived from the words themselves but the story one sees behind the words. Grammatical structure can be manipulated in various ways to carry an audience on vastly different journeys.
Lastly, your conclusions are stuck in a false dichotomy in both your understanding of emotions and your understanding of the options available to a 'nice guy'.
It is good that you are thinking though. Welcome back anytime.
"Firstly, I never mentioned that I was a nice guy, nor a bad boy."
Yes I know that is why I was trying to understand what point you were trying to make with the article, as I was interested in your writing and what it meant.
I was pointing out that I did not understand how you put the words together to make your point and looking for understanding of what you mean, not trying to argue about grammer.
You probably don't understand emotions at all, and telling me I have arrived a false dichotomy is false conclusion putting me in a postion that is incorrect, I once again was trying to understand the article and offer some debate about what the point of it may have been.
Good luck with it all bro.
Unless you found a point, which you seem to not have, there was no point.
Women are programmed from birth to be nuturers and I also believe that it is biologically ingrained in a woman to take care of others. The more immature and poorly a man acts, I think some women begin to view him as a naughty child that needs to be shown the light. The worse the man acts, the more drawn women seem to be. Plus there is another component ingrained into all romance stories fed to women, which is that if she is special enough, she and only she, can tame the bad and wold man.
Many fallacies that influence the mind aren't there?