Starlight and starlets

Fame, fortune, celebrity... It is all she thought about. She had learned to sing and dance, practiced accents, spent hours working on facial expressions in the mirror and had been waiting tables for the last three years. Three years with little more than some extra work and a tiny print add. But, she knew her big break was coming...

Sometimes I wonder what people are willing to do to satisfy their desires to get what they want. It seems to be a lot. The Harvey Weinstein case gives a little look into this and how common this kind of behaviour is. People are deluding themselves if they think it is just this one producer and it is only the men that act this way.

What I wonder is what are we willing to put up with to keep our dreams alive, what kind of behaviour will we ignore in others, what kind of behaviour will we perform ourselves and, what hurdles are we willing to make people jump to get access to our resources? What actions does it take to walk away from our own dreams, what moral lines are a step too far?

Buddha said: Desire is the root of all suffering.

I take this to mean that when we want something, we are willing to compromise ourselves and manipulate others in order to achieve it. When we have it, we are willing to hurt ourselves and others in order to keep it. What are we willing to compromise in ourselves to get what we want, to get the job, the money, the fame, the partner. Who are we willing to hurt to get there?

Cases like what is in the news now (I haven't read much about it) show how willing people are to stay quiet about very poor (potentially illegal) behaviour in order to keep their desires alive. I am not just talking about the female stars that were subjected, but all of the people that apparently knew what was going on for decades. People who remained silent to protect themselves while knowing that others were getting abused.

Do they feel that they played a roll in their suffering or do they wipe their conscience clean because they weren't the ones to subject the pain directly?

The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing. -Edmund Burke

Are they good people doing nothing or selfish people unwilling to lose the position they enjoy by speaking up? What are we willing to lose in order to come to the aid or defense of another, especially if that person is unrelated to us. Would the same people have kept their mouths shut for years on end if it was their own children being subjected to abuse?

It seems that in cases like this, people only come out of the woodwork when the case has already been exposed, when it will likely help, not hurt their own current standing. I am not blaming the victims for staying quiet as there are many reasons and everyone is an individual but, I just raise questions why the pattern is so familiar.

I think it is because there are still a range of conflicting desires at play and they may rank in a hierarchy and self-preservation nearly always trumps protection of others. So, it is better to stay quiet than risk personal harm or in the case of Weinstein, a chance at fame, fortune and celebrity or the possibility to keep it.

This is the same for the slave labour used to make shoes and clothing around the world. Yes, we may buy the products making us accomplices but, someone had to set up the distribution and production network that allows children and poor to work in dangerous and slave-like conditions. What will you do to others in order to become a billionaire? How far is too far, how much pain is too much pain to inflict?

We look at these mega cases and shake our heads at the antics of people that are rich and famous and judge them but, would we be different in their positions? Are we willing to stand in front of someone and take their punishment or protect them from someone that can hurt us too. are we willing to bite the hand that feeds us if the same hand is harming others?

It could be a slippery slope scenario where bit by bit we ignore a little more, compromise ourselves a little more or inflict a little more pain. With each instance, we shift the distribution slightly and create a new average. Where does it stop?

I question these things in myself and I cannot put myself into the shoes of anyone else so reserve judgement on individuals. Society however is another matter entirely as it is made up of all individuals. Questioning society is not an attack on anyone, it is a question for everyone to consider as they are part of the whole.

I often get accused of focusing too heavily on negative aspects of the world and people take this to mean that is all I see. This is not the case at all. I hold so much wonder at the beauty this world has to offer I would like everyone to have a chance to experience at least some of it. To have the chance to be their best without having to bow to authority for the opportunity.

And this is what this kind of behaviour is. It is not about sex, it is about exerting power and control over another and seeing how far that reach can extend. Power is a desire that can never be filled to satisfaction and one no one will willingly relinquish. It will consume all given the chance and protect itself with all it has if required.

These are some thoughts for consideration, not judgements on any individuals involved or potentially in similar experiences. I am too ignorant of too many aspects to evaluate well. Today I had a conversation with someone that was abused as a child and will not speak of it to those who performed, turned a blind eye or were ignorant at the time. That is their choice.

In my view, it is the hard conversations that need to be had in order to reduce suffering as talk will eventually lead to action and potentially a future reduction through new understanding. Avoidance and focusing on the good too often leaves those in bad situations out in the cold, and they may not have the strength or resources currently available to survive. Given opportunity and support, who knows what they may become.

Taraz
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