In the write mind

Optimized and limited.

We live in a world of optimization and statistical feedback to help us better capitalize on our returns. Minimal effort, maximal return. This industrial revolution conceptualization of the way to do business has crept across industrial boundaries and into the personal domain with perhaps, unintended side-effects.

In business, this process of investment/return leads to processes that reach bare minimum to produce products that maximize consumption and price while reducing quality so as not to over-engineer or include features that the market is unwilling to pay for. Good business it seems.

The creep of this concept into the everyday psyche has meant that people do not do anything unless there is an external return or an internal sense of pleasure. Going the extra personal mile is concept that rarely exists in today's society and where this is often witnessed is in people's ability to objectively view themselves.

I don't know you, do you?

This lack of honest self-evaluation often leads to low environmental sensitivity and the ability to match capabilities and drive with what is most suited for personal satisfaction. If one does not know themselves well enough, it is common that what one chooses to do is actually an ideal or expectation of the group in which they identify. This of course leads to all sorts of mismatched values, desires, actions and thoughts that constantly cause a person to be disappointed with their position.

When it comes to what one is willing to invest in, the idea effort/return optimization means that many never put all they have into something if they do not see the value returned. The value is generally something that is derived from an external source, such as money or popularity.

When this is the process, it becomes increasingly rare that someone can explore the depths of themselves through their actions and when it gets applied to their own thinking, through their thoughts.

Nearly everyone has a feeling that they know who they are even though they have rarely pushed themselves into the depths of themselves to discover their true position. Even the people that claim to be lost, think they know they are lost, the depressed know they are depressed, the successful know they are successful.

I am broken, I can't.

But, without objectively exploring what lies within, the feelings of different states is an idealized, expectation of what those labels 'should' feel like. It is then possible that what someone thinks they feel and the reality of it are actually two different things entirely and with a little self-reflection, this discovery may lead to a more precise understanding.

But, the general process, especially in the negative feelings, is that there is 'something wrong with me' and because I am broken, I require someone to fix me. There are times of course that for some, external support is required but for most, a long, hard look in the mirror is likely to uncover enough to begin a healing.

Most that are in this position are likely going to disagree with me on this and say they do not have the energy or the skills to do this or, they will say I have tried it already and it failed. What I wonder is though is if a try is a full try, or an optimized attempt.

There is possibly something in the haystack.

If personal process is looking for a specific result it is likely going to either not see what is there or, not like what it discovers and is more likely to deny what is there. People generally hold an idea of the way they 'should be and feel' when healthy but they are unlikely to ever find the ideal within themselves for it does not exist. This would feel like failure or leave a person unsatisfied with the result of the search.

It is kind of like believing in past lives and going to a medium that can connect and tell you your past positions. How many people come out saying, 'I was a two dollar hooker with a drug dependency, I always knew it deep inside'? Everyone is a princess or a great warrior. The search for an ideal is like looking for the princess or warrior and when finding out that there is nothing so special or unique from the next average person, disappointment ensues.

Expect nothing and find it all.

But, that doesn't mean that there isn't greatness or a uniqueness within as I have the belief that all of us have much more to offer the world than we realize. It just means that it may not be what one is looking for.

And herein lies the optimization problem as the process leads to knowing what result one wants and doing what is intuitive to reach this end. This cannot factor in all of the unknowns and intuition is built upon experience. If one has no idea of what they are capable of, there is no way intuition can learn and act upon what it does know exists.

So, the exploration within cannot be a reserved attempt based upon an expectation of what is to be found as it is unlikely to uncover what is truly valuable. What is likely to reveal capabilities or blockages is an open search which is uncommitted to any particular outcome except personal discovery. This can be very personal investment heavy and a return on the investment in either time or weight is not a given or guaranteed.

Wander here and there and everywhere.

But, this path will take one on a journey of steps with someone dead ends and some pathways and discoveries that bring value. At times, there will be the Aha moments that will provide fundamental changes to the base structure of thought and action.

These epiphany moments cannot be really aimed for as they are unknown prior to their revelation but the environment for their discovery can be developed. And that field of play is rarely in the preconceived and limited processes of optimization.

Write or wrong.

For me, my field of play is through my writing and observation of myself and others in my environment. I try to pay attention to where my mind leads and where it is trying to avoid. Where it leads is generally an easy and familiar path, where it avoids the unknown shadows of the mind.

When I write, I push my mind into the shadows, into the darkness of the unknown as I have the belief that in my mind, however unpleasant, however scary, I am safe. This is the place where I can make discoveries about myself and a whole range of things with no cost other than time and mental energy. This is an unoptimized process however and the returns vary greatly but the personal value is continually building.

I present this journey as it may help others take their own journeys of discovery or inspire the thoughts that may lead them to more thoughts and perhaps a personal aha moment that helps them discover that uniqueness within themselves. Our various cultures and societies claim to offer the answers to that which we seek but these averages and idealistic environments are rarely sensitive to each individual.

Let me tell you what you want.

An individual's experience is the responsibility of the individual themselves but over time, this concept of self-awareness and self-reflection has been replaced by a range of authorities that say 'Follow me, I know the way'. If they do actually know the way, it is theirs, not yours or mine. Following them is likely to lead any follower astray.

But, following these types, trusting in their vision builds the expectations of what and how something should be. The expectations that when most search within, look to find. It means that we are on the search for someone else's unique abilities and desires that may not reside in us at all. We then wonder why we aren't satisfied with what we find.

Selfish is the selfless.

What I am trying to convince people of (and am likely to fail at for nearly all) is that when exploring the internal, do not hold back, do not look to conserve energy as this is likely the most important and valuable journey one can ever take. It seems selfish for many to spend so much energy on themselves but is likely the most value inducing process for the community one can perform.

If a community is filled with those who have discovered and are able to fully utilize diverse talents, it is the most productive and inclusive community for each has carved their own niche, cooperated with those who support, helped others develop and given all they can to grow.

Written in, taken out.

Of course, this is just my view of what is important and what may be the most beneficial pathway for all to follow. Many will disagree and cite the optimized who have 'made it' and are 'successful'. There are many more however who are doing the exact something, maybe better and still failing at it miserably so the recipe is not for all.

And miserable is the person who thinks they know themselves, thinks they know what is right, thinks they know how it all works yet consistently get the feedback that they are wrong, but don't pay attention.

If I was going to recommend one thing to start a journey it would be to write the mind as it has an ability to slow thinking and gives the time to process more deeply. Thoughts that go unnoticed in the rush of optimization can be captured and followed back to their nest and investigated to see if this is something of value or a pest.

People talk of self-limiting beliefs holding them back. Optimization of the mind by searching for an expectation and idealized result is the definition of self-limiting a it excludes all that is unknown to the sides and in my opinion, in each of us, there is a depth that very few ever come close to shining a light upon.

I may be wrong of course so don't follow me. Find your own way.

Taraz
[ a Steemit original ]