Dealing with repression

The pic is of my dog but, it pretty well sums up my current feelings. Of course, I am not allowed to curl up on the couch and have a nap quite yet, there is still a lot of work to do. One of the drawbacks of running a one-person business is there is always a lot of work to do and days off are a luxury that don't happen very often. It is also a blessing at times as having work that must be done provides an energy of its own kind.

I like to explore my writing during different times when my mood is good or bad, tired or well rested, stressed or feeling free. It is interesting to see what changes and how it changes. Does a positive mood get reflected in the text, can a negative mood be covered?

I think for many these days, restricting and suppressing emotions is seen as not dealing with them but, I think that they can be dealt with without them being expressed to others. I don't see why shouting and screaming and getting upset at another person is seen as positive. Even when they are the apparent catalyst for it.

Emotions are just physical reactions to a mix of chemicals and can be changed by a myriad factors, like today for me, medication. But of course, alcohol or menstrual cycles, sugar or illness will all have effects on the chemical makeup. Perhaps if we were more sensitive personally to our moods, we might find they are symptomatic of hormonal changes and if they do not regulate, perhaps of other problems and imbalances.

Some are hard to catch though and many are very difficult to disconnect from and observe as they happen which means that they get observed in reflection. This opens a door for justification acrobats to come in and provide excuses for why a behaviour was acceptable and why someone deserved the barrage of emotional vomit.

One thing I do find though is that often the people who are so willing to express their emotions and let them pour are also among the worst at reacting to the emotions of others, especially the negative ones. What I suspect is that their willingness to express is more due to an unwillingness to take responsibility which also leads to feelings of victimization and powerlessness when the shoe is on the other foot.

Of course, these are just some of my own reflections and have no basis on anything other than my own observations of my world through my eyes. They are also likely affected by my current emotional and physical state too and perhaps my own attempts to deal internally leak out. Hard to tell isn't it?

Taraz
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